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Gu Changkang worshipped Huan Xuanwu's tomb and composed a poem: "The mountains collapsed and the seas dried up, where will the fish and birds go?" Someone asked him: "You relied on Huan so much, can you see your crying?" Gu said: "My nose is like a wide wind, and my eyes are like a river bursting." Someone else said: "My voice is like thunder that breaks the mountain, and my tears are like a river pouring into the sea."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When Wei Si Tu Jingzi died, Zixia offered condolences. The host had not yet buried him, so he went there in mourning clothes. Ziyou went to mourn. After the host had buried him, Ziyou came out, wearing mourning clothes and crying. Zixia asked, "Did you hear that?" He said, "I heard from you, Master, that if the host has not changed his clothes, he should not wear mourning clothes." Zengzi said, "Yanzi can be said to know etiquette, and he is respectful." Youruo said, "Yanzi wore the same fox fur coat for thirty years, and sent one carriage to the tomb and returned; the king had seven carriages, and the ministers had five carriages. How could Yanzi know etiquette?" Zengzi said, "If a country is not governed by the Way, a gentleman will be ashamed to be full of etiquette. If the state is extravagant, then show it frugality; if the state is frugal, then show it etiquette.
Xie Huer was a writer and once wrote the biography of Wang Kan. I don’t know what kind of person I am, so I ask Mr. Xie for advice. Xie Gong replied, "The descendants of the family were also treated well. Kan is the son of Lie, the aunt's brother of Ruan Qianli, and Pan Anren is a middle-class man. As Anren's poem says, 'Your son is close to your aunt, and my father is only my uncle.' He is Xu Yun's son-in-law."
When Pang Shiyuan arrived in Wu, the people of Wu all became friends with him. When he saw Lu Ji, Gu Shao and Quan Cong, he compared them and said, "What Lu Zi said about a slow horse is that it has the advantage of being fast. What Gu Zi said about a slow ox is that it can carry heavy loads and travel far." Someone asked, "If what you said is true, is Lu the better one?" He replied, "Although a slow horse is agile and swift, it can only catch up to one person. A slow ox can travel a hundred miles in a day, but how can it catch up to one person?" The people of Wu did not object. "Quan Zi likes to have a good reputation, just like Fan Zizhao of Runan."
Bian Wenli lost his composure when meeting Yuan Fenggao. Feng Gao said, "When Emperor Yao invited Xu You, he showed no shame. Why are you wearing your clothes upside down?" Wen Li replied, "Your Excellency has just arrived, and Emperor Yao's virtue is not yet well known, so the lowly people are wearing their clothes upside down."
Xu Xuandu said: "In Qin Fu, it is said that 'only those who are extremely refined can analyze the principles with him'. This is Liu Yin; and 'only those who are profound and calm can rest with him'. This is Jian Wen."
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