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When meeting people, he should not remove mourning clothes, even when he goes to the court of the king. Only the government has to pay taxes and wear mourning clothes. It is said: "A gentleman should not take away people's mourning clothes, nor should he take away their mourning clothes." It is said: "If there are many crimes, the punishment should be five times, and if there are many mourning clothes, the mourning clothes should be five times, and the upper and lower should be attached to each other."
Sikong Xi was appointed as the Northern Palace, and Huangmen Wang went to Xi's gate to pay his respects, saying: "Coping with emergencies and military strategies are not his strong points." He then recited it endlessly. Xi Cang said to Jiabin: "When you came to pay your respects today, Ziyou's words were very rude and intolerable!" Jiabin said: "This is Chen Shou's comment on Zhuge Liang. People compare your family to Wu Hou, what else do you say?"
The Master said: "The moderation is the highest! Few people can keep it for long!"
When serving a gentleman, the gentleman yawned and stretched himself, picked up his walking stick and shoes, and saw that the sun was setting. The attendant then asked to leave. When sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if the gentleman asks about the affairs of the day, the gentleman should stand up and answer. When one is sitting in the presence of a gentleman, if someone comes and says, "A moment," hoping to hear back, one should stand aside and wait. Do not listen sideways, do not respond loudly, do not look lustfully, and do not be lazy. When walking, do not be arrogant; when standing, do not limp; when sitting, do not spread your legs; when sleeping, do not lie prone. Keep your hair down and don't take off your hat. Don't expose your clothes when you are tired. Don't lift your skirt in the heat.
Sun Xiu liked to shoot pheasants. When it came to the time to shoot, he would leave in the morning and return in the evening. All the ministers advised: "This is a small thing, why bother with it so much?" Xiu said: "Although it is a small thing, it is more upright than others, that is why I like it."
When the body is restored, if there is a forest, the Yu people will set up steps; if there is no forest, the Di people will set up steps. The minor officials will be restored, and the restored ones will wear court clothes. The lord wears a roll, the wife wears a bowed Di; the senior official wears a black and red, the wife wears a jacket; the scholar wears a juebi, and the scholar's wife wears a tax dress. All of them rise from the east, walk in the middle room, face north three steps, throw the clothes in front, and the Si Ming receives them, and then descend from the northwest. If he is a guest, the official residence will be restored, but the private residence will not be restored; if he is in the wild, he will rise to the left hub of his carriage and restore. The clothes are not used to cover the body, nor are they used to bury it. When a woman is buried, she does not wear a robe. When a man is buried, he is called by his name, while a woman is called by her courtesy name. Only when crying is buried first, and then the funeral ceremony is performed.
Li Hongdu often sighed that he was not appreciated. Yin Yangzhou knew that his family was poor and asked, "Can you bend your will and travel a hundred miles?" Li replied, "The sigh of the North Gate has long been heard by my friends. A poor ape rushes to the forest, how can it have time to choose a tree!" He was then granted Shan County.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: “Stop! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.” Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: “May I ask how it goes? ”The Master said, “Respect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.” The Master said, “Serving others takes away kindness and benevolence.” The Master said, “Master, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.” Zigong crossed the table and replied, “May I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?” The Master said, “Ritual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.”
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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