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A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
The Master said: “The benevolent is the model of the world; the righteous is the rule of the world; the retribution is the benefit of the world.” The Master said: “Repaying kindness with kindness will encourage the people; repaying grievances with grievances will punish the people. The Book of Songs says: ‘No words are not resentful, no virtue is not repaid.’ The Book of Taijia says: ‘Without the king, the people cannot be at peace; without the king, the four directions cannot be opened.’” The Master said: “Repaying grievances with kindness is benevolence of leniency; repaying kindness with grievances is punishment of the people.” The Master said: “The one who has no desires and likes kindness, and the one who has no fears and hates unkindness, is the only one in the world. Therefore, the gentleman discusses the way for himself and sets laws for the people.” The Master said: “There are three kinds of benevolence, the same merits as benevolence but different feelings. The same merits as benevolence, his benevolence cannot be known; the same faults as benevolence, then his benevolence can be known. The benevolent are at peace with benevolence, the wise are beneficial to benevolence, and the fearful are strong in benevolence. The benevolent are right, the righteous are left. The benevolent are human, the righteous are righteousness. Those who are thick in benevolence are thin in righteousness, they are close but not respected; those who are thick in righteousness are thin in benevolence, they are respected but not close. The righteousness has its ultimate, and the righteousness has its examination. The ultimate righteousness is the way to rule, the righteousness is the way to hegemony, and the examination of the righteousness is to make sure there is no error. ”
Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
When marrying a wife, one should not marry someone with the same surname as her. Therefore, if one buys a concubine but does not know her surname, one should consult the divination. If a widow's son has no opinion on him, he should not be friends with him.
Yan Ding was good at mourning: when he died, he was anxious as if he wanted to find it but couldn't get it; when he was buried, he looked around as if he wanted to follow but couldn't reach it; after the burial, he sighed as if he couldn't reach it and stopped.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
When Dai Yuan was young, he was a knight-errant who did not discipline himself and often attacked and robbed merchants between the Yangtze River and the Huai River. When Lu Ji returned to Luoyang for vacation, he had a huge baggage train. Yuan sent the young men to plunder. Yuan was on the shore, sitting on a Hu couch, directing his men and women, and they all did their job appropriately. Yuan was a man of great talent and intelligence. Although he was in a humble position, his spirit was still extraordinary. Ji said to him from afar on the boat, "You are so talented, but you still want to cause trouble?" Yuan burst into tears, threw his sword back to Ji, and spoke harshly to him. Ji valued him more and made him his friend, and wrote a letter to recommend him. After crossing the river, he was promoted to General Zhengxi.
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