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When the dukes sent people to the dukes, the messengers called themselves "guaijunzhilao". The emperor is solemn, the princes are majestic, the great officials are numerous, the scholars are staggering, and the common people are humble.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Aigong said, "May I ask about Confucian conduct." Confucius replied, "I can't finish counting them all. If I count them all, I will stay. I can't finish them even if I change my servant."
All the Ruan brothers were good at drinking. When Zhongrong and his clan members gathered together for a while, they no longer used ordinary cups to drink, but used large jars to hold wine, and they sat around and drank together. Sometimes a group of pigs came to drink, and they would go straight up and drink together.
The remaining fish are not sacrificed. A father does not sacrifice to his son, and a husband does not sacrifice to his wife. The emperor treats the elders with respect, and he will not refuse even if he is asked to sit with them occasionally. If the soup contains vegetables, use a spoon; if it does not contain vegetables, do not use a spoon.
Ruan Xuanzi discussed the existence of ghosts and gods. Some believed that ghosts existed when people died, but Xuanzi alone believed that ghosts did not exist. He said, "Nowadays, those who see ghosts say that they cut off the clothes they wore when they were alive. If ghosts exist when people die, do clothes also have ghosts?"
If the ministers go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission. When they return, they must offer. If the scholars go out of the country privately, they must ask for permission; when they return, they must tell. If the king works hard for them, they will bow; if they ask about their travels, they will bow before answering. When a king leaves his country, he is stopped by saying, "How can you leave the altar of the country?" The ministers say, "How can you leave the ancestral temple?" The scholars say, "How can you leave the grave?" The king dies for the altar of the country, the ministers die for the people, and the scholars die for the system.
Gu Yanxian loved the zither all his life, and when he died, his family members often placed the zither on the coffin. Zhang Jiying went to cry for him, unable to bear the grief, so he went straight to the bed, played the zither, and after playing a few songs, he said while playing the zither: "Does Gu Yanxian appreciate this?" He was in great grief again, so he left his filial son's hand without holding his.
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