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Yuan Hu was poor when he was young and once worked as a servant carrying rent for others. Xie Zhenxi was traveling by boat. That night the wind was clear and the moon was bright. He heard the sound of passengers reciting poems on a boat on the river bank, which was quite sentimental. The five-character verse he recited was something he had never heard before, and he could not stop admiring it. He immediately sent someone to interrogate him in detail, and it turned out that it was Yuan himself who was reciting the historical poem he had written. Therefore, they wanted each other and were greatly appreciated.
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
When the senior officials and scholars leave their country, they shall cry for the altar and the country. They shall wear white clothes, white skirts, white caps, white hems, white sandals, and white caps, and ride horses. They shall not be early. They shall not offer food, nor shall they persuade people to be innocent; women shall not be concubines. They shall return to the service after three months.
When Shusun Wushu's mother died, after the small coffin was buried, the person who carried it out of the house, stripped bare, and threw down his hat and tied his hair. Ziyou said, "You know the ritual." When the lord is supported, the fortune teller supports the right, and the archer supports the left; when the lord dies, it is carried out in this way.
Someone asked: "Why do those who don't wear a cap wear it?" The answer is: It is what those who don't wear a cap wear. The Book of Rites says: "A boy does not wear mourning clothes, but only wears mourning clothes in the house." "Wearing clothes" means to be exempted, and in the house, he is exempted and caned.
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
The gentleman said: "Gently accept harmony, and accept white; loyal and faithful people can learn etiquette. If there is no loyal and faithful person, etiquette will not be in vain. Therefore, it is precious to get the right person. Confucius said: "Reciting three hundred poems in the Book of Songs is not enough for one offering. The ceremony of one offering is not enough for a great feast. The ceremony of a great feast is not enough for a great group. The great group is ready, but it is not enough for the feast of the emperor." Don't discuss etiquette lightly! Zilu was the chief of Ji's family. Ji's family offered sacrifices at dusk, and when the day was not enough, they continued with candles. Even if there is a strong face and a solemn and respectful heart, they are all tired. The officials limped and leaned to attend the sacrifice, which was a great disrespect. On other days when offering sacrifices, Zilu would be present. The affairs of the inner room would be handled at the door, and the affairs of the hall would be handled at the steps. They would start their activities at dawn and leave at dusk. Confucius heard this and said, "Who says that You doesn't know etiquette?
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