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Zhang Zhan liked to plant pine and cypress trees in front of his study. Whenever Yuan Shansong went out for a trip, he would always ask his attendants to compose elegies. People at that time said, "The body was laid out under Zhang's house, and the funeral was held on Yuan's road."
Someone asked Yin Yuanyuan: "The kings and nobles of the time compared you to Pei Shudao. What do you think?" Yin said: "So you should be compared to Pei Shudao because you can see through the dark."
When Zigong asked about mourning, Confucius said, "Respect is the best, grief is the next, and thinness is the worst. The color of the face reflects the feelings; the sorrowful expression reflects the clothes." When asked about the mourning of brothers, Confucius said, "The mourning of brothers is recorded in the books and strategies. "A gentleman does not take away the mourning of others, nor should he take away his own mourning. Confucius said: "Shaolian and Dalian are good at mourning. They do not get tired for three days and do not stop for three months. They are sad for a long time and worried for three years. They are the sons of Dongyi. ”
Chen Zhonggong was the head of Taiqiu. At that time, an official falsely claimed that his mother was ill and asked for leave. The matter was discovered and he was arrested and killed by the officials. The chief clerk requested that he be sent to prison to investigate the traitors. Zhonggong said: "To deceive the king is disloyal, and to make one's mother sick is unfilial. Disloyalty and unfiliality are the greatest crimes. If we examine all the treacherous people, is there anything worse than this?"
Duke Yu wanted to re-employ Zhou Zinan, but Zinan became even more stubborn in his refusal. Whenever Yu visited Zhou, Yu entered from the south gate and Zhou left from the back gate. Once, Yu arrived in a hurry and Zhou could not leave, so they stayed together all day. Yu asked Zhou for food. Zhou brought out vegetables, and Yu forced himself to eat. They were very happy. They talked about worldly affairs and agreed to recommend each other to share the responsibility of helping the world. After he entered the officialdom, he was promoted to the rank of general, 2,000 stones, but was not satisfied with it In the middle of the night he said with deep emotion: "A real man has been betrayed by Yu Yuangui!" After a sigh, he died of a rash on his back.
When Wang Zijing and his brothers met Duke Xi, they tiptoed to ask for his advice and were very polite to outsiders. When the guests died, they all wore chopsticks and high sandals, and had a disrespectful demeanor. When they were ordered to sit down, they all said, "We are busy and have no time to sit down." After they left, Xi Gong said with deep emotion, "If the distinguished guests were still alive, how dare you rats do this!"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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