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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
Wang Da and Wang Gong once sat together with He Pushe. Gong was the prefect of Danyang at that time, and Dashi was the governor of Jingzhou. When the conversation was about to end, he urged everyone to drink a lot. Gong refused to drink, so Da forced him to drink. It became more and more painful, so they each tied their hands with their skirts. There were nearly a thousand people in Gong's mansion, and they were all called into the room. Although there were few left and right guards, they were also ordered to move forward, intending to kill each other. There was no plan for shooting, so they stood up and sat down in a row between two people, and then they were able to disperse. The ancients were ashamed of the so-called snobbish friendship.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious about virtue first. If you have virtue, you will have people; if you have people, you will have land; if you have land, you will have wealth; if you have wealth, you will have usefulness. Virtue is the root, and wealth is the end. The root is outside and the end is inside, and the people are robbed. Therefore, when wealth is gathered, the people will be scattered; when wealth is scattered, the people will be gathered. Therefore, words that are perversely spoken will also be perversely received; goods that are perversely received will also be perversely sent out. "Kang Gao" says: "Only the mandate is not constant." If the way is good, you will gain it; if it is not good, you will lose it. "Chu Shu" says: "Chu has no treasure, only goodness is its treasure." Uncle Fan said: "The dead have no treasure, only benevolence and relatives are their treasure."
When mourning clothes are worn, the crying is like going out but not turning back; the crying of mourning clothes is like going out and turning back; the crying of mourning clothes for the great merit is three bends and then folded; the mourning clothes for the small merit and the mourning clothes are acceptable. This is the expression of sorrow in the voice.
If the eldest son is given a stick, his son will not take the position with the stick. For a wife, if the parents are alive, do not use a stick, do not bow the head. If the mother is alive, do not bow the head. Bowing the head means bowing in the gift. If you disobey the senior official of the princes, you will not return to wear clothes.
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