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The Master said: "What is etiquette? It is the management of affairs. The gentleman has his affairs, and he must manage them. To govern the country without etiquette is like a blind man without friends. What can the entourage do? It is like someone who seeks in a dark room all night, how can he see without a candle? If there is no etiquette, then the hands and feet will not be able to move, the ears and eyes will not be able to add, and the advance and retreat, bowing and yielding will not be controlled. Therefore, if it is used in the residence, the elder and the younger will lose their distinction; the boudoir and the three clans will lose their harmony; the court and the official titles will lose their order; hunting and military affairs will lose their strategies; the army and military achievements will lose their rules; the palace will lose its measure; the tripod will lose its image; the food will lose its time; the music will lose its mode; the car will lose its style; the ghosts and gods will lose their feast; the funeral will lose its sorrow; the debate will lose its party; the official will lose its form; the government affairs will lose its implementation; it will be imposed on the body and mishandled in front, and all the actions of the crowd will lose their appropriateness. In this way, there is no way to reconcile with the crowd. ”
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
When Huan was conquering the west, he governed the beautiful Jiangling City. He met his guests and colleagues who went out to Jiangjin to look at it. Huan said, "Anyone who can see this city will be rewarded." Gu Changkang was a guest at the time and was also present. He looked at it and said, "From a distance, I can see the layered city walls, and the red towers are like clouds." Huan immediately rewarded him with two maids.
Xun Xu was good at understanding sounds, and people at that time called him a secret understander. Then he adjusted the musical scale and corrected the elegant music. During every formal meeting, music was played in the palace, with the tunes of the gong and shang being adjusted to the rhythm of the music. Ruan Xian appreciated it very much and praised it as a divine understanding. Every time there is music in a public gathering, the mind is not in tune. Since he did not say a word of encouragement, he was jealous of him and thus sent Ruan away to be the prefect of Shiping. Later, there was a farmer who was tilling the field and found a jade ruler from the Zhou Dynasty. This became the standard ruler for the whole world. Xun tried to compare the bells, drums, metal, stone, silk and bamboo instruments he had made, and found that they were all one grain short, so he subdued Ruan's spirit.
When a funeral is made for one's monarch, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died"; for parents, wife, and eldest son, one says: "Your subject so-and-so has died". When a monarch makes a funeral for the monarch of another country, one says: "My monarch is unlucky, and I dare to inform the steward."; for his wife, one says: "My youngest son, I will be buried with you."
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