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Someone who came and went said: Mr. Yu has the intention of going east. Someone said to the prince: "You can be more cautious in case of an emergency." The prince said: "Although Yuan Gui and I are both ministers of the king, we are originally commoners. If he wants to come, I will just put on my horn scarf and return to my black clothes. Why should I be more cautious?"
Sikong Gu He was having a conversation with the wise men of the time. Zhang Xuanzhi and Gu Fu, the grandson of the middle-aged man and the grandson of the great-grandson, both seven years old, were playing beside the bed. When he heard the words, his expression seemed to be irrelevant. Sleeping under the lamp, the two children narrated the host's words, without missing anything. Gu Gong crossed the table and lifted his ear, saying: "I never thought that a declining clan would revive this treasure."
When Xie Gong's fellow disciples gathered together, he asked Mao which line of poetry was the best? E Cheng said, "When I went there in the past, the willows were swaying; when I come back now, it is raining and snowing." The Duke said, "The destiny is determined by careful planning, and the distant plans are announced in due course." He said that this sentence has the profound meaning of an elegant person.
The mourning clothes for the deceased are three liters, and after the mourning period, six liters of cloth and seven liters of cap are given; for the mother, four liters of mourning clothes for the deceased are given, seven liters of cloth and eight liters of cap are given. Remove the hemp and wear kudzu, and wear a three-layered kudzu belt. When the time comes for a minor funeral, wear a lanyard cap with a lanyard, but do not remove the sash. Men remove the head, and women remove the sash. Why do men remove the head? Why do women remove the sash? Men focus on the head, and women focus on the sash. Those who remove the heavy clothes first, and those who change clothes change to the light clothes. When the time comes for a major funeral, wear plain white and linen clothes. In the middle of the month, mourning is performed, and the mourning period is light, and everything is worn.
When Shusun Wushu's mother died, after the small coffin was buried, the person who carried it out of the house, stripped bare, and threw down his hat and tied his hair. Ziyou said, "You know the ritual." When the lord is supported, the fortune teller supports the right, and the archer supports the left; when the lord dies, it is carried out in this way.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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