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In mourning for parents, one wears a mourning hat with a tassel and straw sandals, eats porridge for three days, bathes for three months, wears a silk hat after thirteen months, and auspiciousness comes after three years. By comparing these three festivals, the benevolent can observe their love, the wise can observe their reason, and the strong can observe their will. Govern with propriety, correct with righteousness, and filial sons, younger brothers, and chaste wives can all be observed.

During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone鈥檚 name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one鈥檚 color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.

Zishang did not mourn when his mother died. His disciples asked Zisi, 鈥淒id your ancestors mourn their mothers?鈥 He said, 鈥淵es鈥. 鈥淲hy did you not let Bai mourn?鈥 Zisi said, 鈥淢y ancestors did not lose the way; when the way was high, they followed the way; when the way was low, they followed the way. How could Ji do that? Those who marry Ji are Bai鈥檚 mother; those who do not marry Ji are not Bai鈥檚 mother.鈥 Therefore, the Kong family did not mourn their mothers when their mothers died, starting with Zisi.




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