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If jade is not polished, it will not become a tool; if people do not learn, they will not know. Therefore, the ancient kings who established the country and ruled the people put teaching first. "The Book of Changes" says: "Remember the beginning and the end and learn." Is this what it means!
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
Emperor Ming of Wei asked his younger brother Mao Zeng to sit with Xiahou Xuan, and people at that time said it was "reeds leaning against jade trees."
When Emperor Wu of Wei died, Emperor Wen took all of Emperor Wu's palace ladies to serve him. When the emperor fell ill, Empress Bian went out to see him. When the Empress Dowager entered the house, she saw that the attendant was the one she once loved and favored. The Queen Mother asked, "When did you come?" He replied, "My soul is in hiding." She did not come forward and sighed, "Dogs and rats will not eat the rest of you, so death is inevitable!" When they arrived at the tomb, she still did not come.
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
Le Ling's daughter married General Wang Ying of Chengdu. The king's brother, the King of Changsha, held power in Luo, and they began to plot against each other. The King of Changsha is close to villains and stays away from gentlemen. Everyone in the court is afraid of danger. After Le magistrate had agreed to the emperor's wishes and had relatives in marriage, a group of petty people started to slander him in Changsha. Changsha once asked Le Ling, who looked calm and answered slowly, "Why would you exchange five sons for one daughter?" From then on, he felt relieved and had no more doubts.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Xu Yun was executed by King Jing of Jin, and his disciple went in to tell his wife. The woman was working on the loom, her expression unchanged, and she said, "I knew it early!" The servants wanted to hide the child, but the woman said, "Don't get involved in the child's affairs." Later, the child was moved to a tomb, and King Jing sent Zhong Hui to look after him. If the child had talent like his father, he would be taken in. The child asked his mother for advice. The mother said: "Although you are good, you don't have much talent. Just speak from your heart and you will have nothing to worry about. You don't have to be too sad. Just stop when you can. You can also ask less about court affairs." The children followed her advice. He then reported the case and was finally released.
When Confucius was in Wei, he encountered the funeral of an old abbot. He went in and wept. When he left, he asked Zigong to persuade the charioteer and give him gifts. Zigong said, "I have never persuaded the charioteer for the funeral of my disciple. Is it too much to persuade the charioteer in the old abbot?" The Master said, "My fellow villagers went in and wept, and wept when they met a sad thing. I hate that I have no reason to cry. You should do it." When Confucius was in Wei, there were people attending the funeral, and the Master watched them and said, "How well they conduct the funeral! It is worthy of being a model. You should know it." Zigong said, "What is so good about you, Master?" He said, "When he went, he seemed to be longing, and when he returned, he seemed to be suspicious." Zigong said, "Is it better to return quickly and be anxious?" The Master said, "You know it, but I can't do it." When Yan Yuan died, he presented auspicious meat. Confucius went out to receive it, and then he played the zither and ate it.
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