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There is a proverb: "The leader in the future will be Pei Xiu."
When Yin Zhongkan was the governor of Jingzhou, there was a flood season and he usually ate only five bowls of food, with no other dishes. When rice grains fell on the plate or table, he would pick them up and eat them. Although we want to lead things, we must do so according to their true nature. I always tell my children, "Don't think that I am giving up my former ambitions because I have been appointed to a provincial post. It is not easy for me to be in this position now. Poverty is the norm for scholars. How can I climb the branch and abandon my roots? You should save it!"
Duke Zhuang of Lu and the people of Song fought at Chengqiu. Xian Benfu drove the chariot, and Bu Guo was on the right. The horses were frightened and defeated, and the Duke's army was in retreat. The assistant charioteer gave reins. The Duke said, "It's the last divination." Xian Benfu said, "You won't be defeated in the future, but you are defeated now. You are not brave." So he died. The groom was bathing the horse, and a stray arrow hit the white flesh. The Duke said, "It's not his fault." So he wrote a eulogy for him. The scholars started to write eulogies from this time.
When Su Jun was in chaos, all the Yu clans fled. When Yu Bing was the governor of Wu County, he fled alone, and all the people and officials left. Only the county soldier carried the ice out of Qiantangkou in a small boat, and Qu Shen overturned it. At that time, Jun offered a reward to recruit people to find ice, and the search was very urgent everywhere. The soldier left the boat and went to the market. He came back drunk and rowed towards the boat, saying, "Where can I find Yu Wujun? He is here." Bing was greatly frightened, but did not dare to move. The inspector saw that the boat was small and cramped, and thought that the soldiers were crazy and drunk, so he no longer suspected anything. He was sent to Zhejiang and sent to Wei's family in Shanyin, where he was saved. After the matter was settled, Bing wanted to avenge his soldiers, which was exactly what he wished. The soldier said, "I come from a servant family and don't want luxury. I suffered from whipping when I was young, and I'm always worried about not being able to drink happily. If I can drink enough for the rest of the year, I won't need any more." Bing built a big house for him, bought slaves, and kept a hundred hu of wine at the door for the rest of his life. At that time, it was said that this soldier was not only wise, but also understood life.
The one who makes an adult will be required to perform the etiquette of adulthood. The one who requires the etiquette of adulthood will be required to perform the etiquette of being a son, a younger brother, a minister, and a younger person. If the four behaviors are performed on people, can the etiquette not be important?
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
When a senior official came to pay his respects, he would say no. When paying respects to someone, he should not be happy on that day. Women should not go beyond the border to pay respects to someone. On the day of paying respects, they should not drink alcohol or eat meat. When paying respects to a funeral, the person must hold the lead. If they follow the coffin to the grave, they should all hold the rope. When a public official pays respects, there must be someone to bow, even if they are friends or people from the state or village. When paying respects, he should say, "My lord will serve you." The host should say, "Come." When the lord sees the coffin on the road, he must send someone to pay his respects. When a senior official is buried, commoners should not receive his respects. If the brother of the wife's father dies, the son should be the main one, and he should not cry or jump. The husband should enter the room on the right, and have someone stand outside the door to inform the visitors. If they are close to him, he should go in and cry. If the father is alive, he should cry in the wife's room; if they are not the father's descendants, he should cry in other rooms. If there is a funeral, if you hear of the death of a distant brother, you should cry in the side room; if there is no side room, you should cry on the right side of the door; if they are from the same country, you should go to cry.
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