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Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
Wang Ziyou and Zijing were both seriously ill, but Zijing died first. Ziyou asked his attendants, "Why haven't we heard any news? He is already dead!" He showed no sadness at all when he spoke. They asked for a sedan chair and came to the funeral, but did not cry. Zijing had always loved the zither, so he went straight in and sat on the coffin, took out Zijing's zither and played it. When the strings were out of tune, he threw it to the ground and said, "Zijing! Zijing! Both you and the zither are gone." He was in grief for a long time, and died more than a month later.
When Chen Yuanfang lost his father, he cried and mourned until his body became emaciated. His mother felt sorry for him and secretly covered him with a brocade quilt. Guo Linzong came to express his condolences and saw him, and said to him, "You are a talented person in the country, and a role model for the whole country. How can you mourn with a brocade quilt covering you? Confucius said, 'To wear brocade and to eat rice, what good will it do you?' I will not accept it!" He threw away his clothes and left. From then on, no guests came for a hundred days.
The guest must face south. The east is spring, and spring means stupidity, and the one who produces all things is the saint. The south is summer, and summer means borrowing. To nurture, grow, and borrow is benevolence. The west is autumn, and autumn means sorrow. To be sad with time is to observe and keep righteousness. The north is winter, and winter means the middle, and the middle is to hide. Therefore, when the emperor is established, the left is the saint and the right is the benevolent, and the right is the righteousness and the hidden. The host must face east, which is the host and the guest. The host must live in the east, and the east is spring, and spring means stupidity, and the one who produces all things; the host creates it, and the one who produces all things. The moon is formed in three days, and the three months are formed in time. Therefore, there are three concessions in etiquette, and three ministers must be established when a country is established. The three guests are the foundation of politics and education, and the great reference of etiquette.
Du Yu was appointed General Zhennan, and all the court officials arrived and sat on the couches. There was also Pei Shuze at that time. Yang Zhishu arrived later and said, "Du Yuankai is sitting as a guest on the couch again!" He refused to sit down and left. Du asked Pei to chase him, but the sheep stopped their horses after going a few miles, and then they both returned to Duxu.
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
All the servants in Zheng Xuan's family were educated. Once he sent a maid to do something that did not please him, so he was about to beat her. As he was about to explain his story, Xuan became angry and ordered someone to drag chopsticks into the mud. After a while, another maid came and asked, "Why are you in the mud?" She replied, "I went to complain and met with his anger."
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