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Gu Mengzhu once offered wine to Zhou Boren, but Boren refused to accept it. Gu Yinyi persuaded Zhu and said to Zhu, "How can you become a pillar of society just by yourself?" Zhou was delighted and they became confidants.
When the dukes met the emperor, they called themselves "minister so-and-so" and "hou so-and-so". When they talked with the people, they called themselves "guaren"; when they were in mourning clothes, they called themselves "shizigu". When they attended sacrifices, they called themselves "filial son so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the inner court, and "great-grandson so-and-so and hou so-and-so" in the outer court. When they died, they called themselves "hong", and when they came back, they called themselves "so-and-so fu fu yi". When they met the emperor after the burial, it was called "lei jian". When they talked about posthumous titles, it was called "lei".
Aunt Han Kang, the hidden ancient Ji was destroyed, Bian Ju saw Ji was ugly and wanted to replace it. He replied, "If I had not hidden this, how could you have seen the ancient artifacts?"
Only when the emperor mourns, people of different surnames cry. Duke Ai of Lu mourned Confucius, saying: "Heaven does not spare the old, and no one will give me a position. Alas, my father!" When a large county was destroyed, the dukes, ministers, officials, and scholars all wore their caps and cried in the great temple for three days, but the king did not raise the flag. Some said: The king raised the flag and cried in front of Hou Tu. Confucius hated people crying in the wild. Those who have not yet taken office dare not tax people; if they tax people, they should follow the orders of their fathers and brothers. Scholars should prepare themselves and dance morning and evening. They should wear mourning clothes for auspicious occasions, and they should mourn in the same month and move to the next month for music. The king has a gift of cloth to scholars.
Wake up early, the woman bathes and waits for the meeting; at dawn, the husband helps the woman to meet the uncle and aunt, holds a basket, dates, chestnuts, and cuts to meet, helps the woman to offer wine, and the woman offers dried meat and salted meat, and offers wine, which completes the woman's etiquette. When the uncle and aunt enter the room, the woman offers a special pig to show that the woman is obedient. At dawn, the uncle and aunt The women are feasted together with a ceremony of offering sacrifices and offerings. The uncles and aunts first descend from the west steps, and the women descend from the east steps, to show their generation.
When the king and the official are about to bury the deceased, they should offer condolences in the palace; when they leave, they should order the officials to lead the mourners, but they should stop after three steps. After three times, the king will leave; they should do the same in the morning and at the funeral. Those who are fifty years old and do not have carriages should not cross the border to offer condolences.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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