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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
In funerals, we want them to be relaxed; in auspicious events, we want them to be relaxed. Therefore, even if funerals are hasty, they should not be over-ruled; even if auspicious events are delayed, they should not be lazy. Therefore, if you are too noisy, you are wild; if you are too busy, you are a mean person.
The Taoist priest sitting high up did not speak Chinese. When someone asked him what he meant by this, he replied in a simple way: "It is troublesome to answer in a simple way."
In the ceremony of pitching a pot, the host holds the arrow, the shooter holds the target, and someone holds the pot. The host asked, "I have a pot of whistle with crooked arrows. Please use it to entertain the guests." The guest said, "You have delicious wine and delicious food. Since I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment, I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare to ask for it." The guest said, "I have given you, and you have also given me more entertainment. I dare not refuse." The host said, "I can't refuse the pot of whistle with crooked arrows. I dare not refuse." The guest said, "I refuse to accept your order. How dare I not obey?" The guest bowed again to accept it. The host returned it and said, "Please." The host bowed on the steps of the east, and the guest returned it and said, "Please." After bowing, he received the arrows, went to the middle of the two pillars, retreated to his seat, and greeted the guests to the banquet.
When Emperor Cheng was in Shitou, Ren Rang killed the Palace Attendant Zhong Ya and the Right Guard General Liu Chao in front of the emperor. The emperor cried and said, "Give me back my ministers!" Rang disobeyed the order, so Chao and Ya were executed. After the matter was settled, Tao Gong had an old relationship with Rang and wanted to pardon him. Xu Liu'er's longing for her mother-in-law is the best, and you gentlemen want to help her. If he thought of his mother-in-law, he would have no choice but to give in to Tao Quan, so he wanted to pardon them both. When the matter was reported to the emperor, he said, "Rang was the one who killed my minister and he cannot be forgiven!" The officials believed that the young master should not be disobeyed, so they executed both men.
The son-in-law, following the groom's orders, searches for the winner and selects four persons, including Ren You from among them. When he was a child, he was cute and adorable, and people at that time said that he had a good figure and a long shadow. Since crossing the river, I have lost my ambition. Prime Minister Wang asked Shixian to go to Shitou to welcome him first, and they treated him as usual. As soon as they saw each other, they felt something was wrong. After sitting down at the table, he drank and asked people, "Is this tea? Is it tea?" He felt it had a different color, so he explained, "I was asked just now whether it was hot or cold." He once walked down from the coffin and cried sadly. Upon hearing this, Prime Minister Wang said, "This is a sentimental fool."
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