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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Dongting and Xie Gong were at odds with each other. When the king heard about the funeral in the east, he went out of the capital to find Zi Jing and said, "I want to mourn for Gong." Zi Jing had just gone to bed, and when he heard his words, he got up in surprise and said, "I hope for Fa Hu." So the king went to mourn. The commander-in-chief Diao Yue refused to listen and said, "I have never seen such a guest in my life." Wang also did not speak to him, but went straight forward, crying bitterly, and left without holding the hand of the last maid.
When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
Zhuge Hong was unwilling to learn when he was young. When he first talked with Wang Yifu, he already had extraordinary achievements. The king sighed and said, "You are an extremely talented person. If you study harder, you will have nothing to be ashamed of." Later, Hong read Zhuangzi and Laozi, and talked with Wang, and he was able to compete with them.
The dukes have wives, wives, wives, and concubines. The lady calls herself the old woman to the emperor; she calls herself the widowed young monarch to the princes; she calls herself the little boy to her monarch. From the wives below, they call themselves the maid. The son calls himself the name to his parents.
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