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A gentleman knows the reasons why teaching is flourishing and the reasons why teaching is abolished, and then he can be a teacher. Therefore, the gentleman's teaching is to guide but not to force, to force but not to suppress, and to open but not to reach. If you follow the way but don't force it, you will be harmonious; if you are strong but don't suppress it, you will be easy; if you open but don't reach it, you will think; harmony and ease with thinking can be called good metaphor.
Pei Xia was at Zhou Fu's place, and Fu appointed him as the host. Xia played chess with others, and Fu served wine to Sima. Xia Zheng played and drank from time to time. Sima was angry and dragged Xia to the ground. Xia returned to his seat, behaving as usual, with no change in expression, and playing as usual. Wang Yifu asked Xia, "Why did your complexion remain the same at that time?" Xia replied, "It was simply because it was dark."
Zeng Zi asked, “The ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.” Confucius said, “When the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.” Zixia asked, “Is it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?” Confucius said, “The three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, ‘A gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.’ Is this what it means?” Zixia said, “There is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"
During the funeral of Duke Dao, Ji Zhaozi asked Meng Jingzi, "What should the monarch eat?" Jingzi said, "Eating porridge is the most common etiquette in the world. The fact that we three ministers cannot live in the public office has been heard by everyone in the four directions. If I try hard to be poor, then I can do it. Wouldn't it make people suspect that I live in poor conditions without emotion? I will eat."
Xie Gong said: "The wise and sages leave people behind, and their leisure time is also close." His sons and nephews did not agree with him. The Duke sighed and said, "If Xi Chao heard this, he would never reach the Hehan River."
Emperor Ming of Wei asked his younger brother Mao Zeng to sit with Xiahou Xuan, and people at that time said it was "reeds leaning against jade trees."
When Du Yu arrived in Jingzhou, he stopped at Qili Bridge and all the court officials came to pay their respects to him. When he was young, he was humble, fond of heroism, and was not satisfied with material things. Since Yang Ji was a famous figure, he was so brave and handsome that he left without sitting down. After a while, He Changyu came and asked, "Where is Yang Youwei?" The guest answered, "He left without sitting down just now." Changyu said, "He must be riding his horse under the Daya Gate." When they went to the Daya Gate, they indeed saw a large cavalry parade. The long carriage embraced the inner carriage and they were carried back together, and they sat as before.
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