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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Emperor Ming was in the West Hall, drinking with the officials. Although they were not drunk, the emperor asked, "How do the famous ministers gathered here today compare to Yao and Shun?" Zhou Boren was the Minister of State at that time, so he said in a stern voice, "Although we are the same ruler now, how can we be equal to the sage's rule!" The emperor was furious, went back inside, wrote a handwritten edict on a whole yellow paper, and gave it to the Chief Justice to collect, as he wanted to kill him. A few days later, the emperor ordered Zhou to leave and all the officials went to visit him. Zhou said: "I know now that I should not be put to death. My crime is not serious enough."
Xie Gong kept prostitutes in Dongshan. Jianwen said: "Anshi must come out. Since he shares happiness with others, he also has to share sorrow with others."
The Duke said, “Why don’t gentlemen today practice this?” Confucius said, “Gentlemen today are insatiable in their love of goods, untiring in their indulgence of virtue, idle and arrogant, and are sure to destroy the people. They use the people at noon to attack those who have the Way; they seek what they want, not what they should. In the past, people were used from the front, but now people are used from the back. Gentlemen today do not practice etiquette.”
The great officials of various countries, when entering the emperor's country, call themselves the so-and-so scholar; they call themselves the accompanying minister so-and-so. They call themselves the son outside, and the old man of the widowed monarch in their own country. The envoy calls himself so-and-so. The emperor does not speak out, and the princes do not give names.
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