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Bian Wangzhi said: "There are three opposites in Xi Gong's character: he is good at doing things, but he likes to flatter others. This is the first opposite. He is honest and upright, and he makes great plans. This is the second opposite. He likes to read books and hates other people's knowledge. This is the third opposite."
When Wei Xima was about to cross the river, he looked miserable and said to his attendants, "Seeing this vast expanse of land, I feel overwhelmed with emotions. If I still have feelings, who can stop me from feeling this way?"
When Xie Wan went on the northern expedition, he often whistled and sang to show off his superiority, and never tried to comfort his soldiers. Xie Gong loved Wan very much, but he knew that he would definitely fail, so he went with him. Congrong said to Wan: "You are the marshal, you should invite the generals to banquets more often to win their hearts." Wan followed his advice. He summoned all the generals, but none of them said anything. He just pointed at the four people sitting around him and said, "You are all strong soldiers." The generals were very angry. In order to express his gratitude and trust, Mr. Xie personally visited everyone from the captain of the army to the commander-in-chief and expressed his sincere gratitude. When everything went wrong, the army wanted to get rid of him. He then said, "I should become a hermit." So fortunately he was spared.
Someone looked at the tomb of Yang Hu's father, and he would become the emperor in the future. Hu disliked his words, so he dug up the back of the tomb to destroy its power. The fortune teller stood there and said, "He should be promoted to the third highest official because of a broken arm." Suddenly, Hu fell off his horse and broke his arm, and he was indeed promoted to the highest official.
When he first crossed the river, he was paid homage to the official, and the carriage was decorated and provided with food. Yang Man was appointed the prefect of Danyang, and all guests who came early were treated well. As the day goes by, the meal is gradually exhausted and no longer effective. It depends on the guest鈥檚 time, regardless of their status. Yang Gu bowed to Linhai and was served delicious food all day long. Although we arrived late, we were still treated to a sumptuous meal. The contemporary opinion is that Gu's splendor is not as good as Man's sincerity.
Xiang Xiong was the chief clerk of Henei. There were official matters that were not as good as his, and the prefect Liu Huai was furious, so he beat Xiang Xiong and sent him away. Later, Xiong became a Huangmen Lang and Liu became a Shizhong, but they did not speak to each other at first. When Emperor Wu heard this, he ordered Xiong to restore the friendship between the monarch and his subject. Xiong had no choice but to go to Liu, kowtowed twice and said, "I came here in response to the imperial edict, but now the friendship between the monarch and his subject is broken. What do you think?" Then he left. When Emperor Wu heard that there was still discord, he angrily asked Xiong, "I asked you to restore the friendship between monarch and subject. Why did you break it off?" Xiong said, "The gentlemen of the ancient times promoted others with courtesy and dismissed others with courtesy. The gentlemen of today promote others as if they were putting them on their knees and dismiss them as if they were throwing them into the abyss. I am fortunate enough not to be a leader of the army in Liuhe. How can I restore the friendship between monarch and subject?" Emperor Wu agreed.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
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