troll football (parody)

A bowl of noodles

Overthrow prosperity

Huan's chariot was on the top and he went hunting in the morning. News arrived from the east, reporting a great victory on the Huai River. He said to his attendants, "We are all young and have defeated the bandits." He then fell ill and died. Those who talked about it thought that this death was better than giving up the throne to Yang.

The ghost man knocks on the door at all times of the night

Write a wife

Xi Jiabin was very happy when someone compared himself to Fu Jian.

Beautiful Farm Girl is busy farming

When Xie An was young, he asked Ruan Guanglu to talk about the White Horse Theory. I wrote this essay to show Xie, but Xie did not understand what Ruan said at that time, so I consulted him again. Ruan then sighed and said, "Not only is it impossible to find someone who can explain it, it is also impossible to find someone who can explain it!"

Reborn back to the 80s

Bin Moujia sat in Confucius's service. Confucius talked with him about music and asked, "Why has Wu been prepared for so long?" He replied, "I am worried that I cannot get the crowd." "Why is it that it is chanting and lascivious?" He replied, "I am afraid that I will not be able to catch up with the task." "Why is it that it is early to start and work hard?" He replied, "It is timely." "Wu sat with his right side and his left side, why?" He replied, "It is not Wu sitting." "Why is it that the sound is lascivious and reaches Shang?" He replied, "It is not the music of Wu." Confucius said, "If it is not the music of Wu, what is it?" He replied, "The officials have lost the transmission. If the officials have not lost the transmission, then King Wu's ambition would have been in vain." Confucius He said, "Yes! What I heard from Chang Hong is also the same as what you said." Bin Moujia stood up, left his seat and asked, "King Wu has been preparing for a long time, so he must have heard the order. May I ask: why is it so late and so long?" The Master said, "Wait! I will tell you. Music is a symbol of success; the king Wu did it by pulling together the trunks and standing on a mountain; the Duke of Wu was determined to be vigorous and brave. The Zhou and Zhao dynasties ruled when King Wu was in power. Moreover, King Wu went north at first, destroyed Shang when he succeeded for the second time, and made the southern country his border when he succeeded for the third time. He made the southern country his border when he succeeded for the fourth time. He made the southern country his border when he succeeded for the fifth ... Divided and advanced, the matter was accomplished early, and it stood for a long time at the end, waiting for the arrival of the princes. Moreover, have you not heard the words of Muye? King Wu defeated Yin and revolted against Shang. Before he got off the carriage, he enfeoffed the descendants of Huangdi in Ji, the descendants of Emperor Yao in Zhu, and the descendants of Emperor Shun in Chen. He got off the carriage and enfeoffed the descendants of Xiahou in Qi, and the descendants of Yin in Song. He enfeoffed the tomb of Prince Bi Gan, released the prisoner of Jizi, and sent him to Shang to restore his position. The common people relaxed their government, and the common people doubled their salaries. After crossing the Yellow River to the west, the horses were scattered on the south side of Huashan Mountain, and they were no longer ridden; the cattle were scattered in the wilds of Taolin, and they were no longer dressed. The chariots and armor were stored in the treasury, and they were no longer used. The weapons were carried upside down and wrapped in tiger skins; the generals and the generals were used For the princes; named it Jian Lu. Then we know that King Wu will not use troops again. Disperse the army and shoot in the suburbs, shoot the raccoon head with the left, shoot the Zhuo Yu with the right, and shoot the rest of the leather. Wear the imperial crown and hold the hu, and the tiger soldiers will talk about the sword. Sacrifice in the Mingtang and the people will know filial piety. After the court, the princes will know how to be a minister, and after the farming, the princes will know how to be respectful. The five are the great teachings of the world. The three elders and five changes are fed in the university, the emperor strips bare and cuts the animals, holds the sauce and gives the food, holds the cup and drinks, and wears the crown and holds the wine, so as to teach the princes. If this is the case, the Zhou Dao will spread everywhere, and the rituals and music will communicate. Then the delay of "Wu" is not appropriate! "