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Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Luo You was an official in Jingzhou, and Huan Xuanwu was the king's cavalry and carriage assembly. The friend came in and sat for a long time, then left. Xuanwu said, "You wanted to consult me about something, why did you leave so quickly?" He replied, "My friend heard that mutton is delicious, but he has never had the chance to eat it in his life, so he came here without asking. There is nothing to consult you about. Now I am full, so there is no need for you to stay." He showed no shame at all.
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
Zhongni tasted it, offering sacrifices to his parents was sincere, and his steps were hurried and counted. After the sacrifice, Zi Gan asked, "When you said sacrifice, it was full of people and clear. But now your sacrifice is not full of people and clear. Why is that?" Confucius said, "Full of people means that one is far away; clear of people means that one is self-reflective. If one is far away, or if one is self-reflective, how can the gods communicate with each other, and how can there be full of people and clear of people? Feedback, music is complete, offer the offerings, arrange the rituals and music, and prepare all the officials. A gentleman is full of people and clear of people, how can he be confused? Is there only one thing to say? Everyone has his own duties."
When Lezheng Zichun's mother died, he did not eat for five days. He said, "I regret it. Since my mother didn't know my feelings, how can I use my feelings!"
Zhong Yu was a Huangmen Lang. He was alert and was at the banquet with King Jing. At that time, Xuanbo, the son of Chen Qun, and Yuanxia, the son of Wu Zhou, were sitting together and they laughed at Yu. King Jing asked, "What kind of person is Gao Yao?" He replied, "He is a virtuous man in ancient times." Turning back to Xuanbo and Yuanxia, he said, "A gentleman is inclusive but not partial, and he is a group but not a party."
Disobey The dukes of the great officials do not wear the mourning caps. The mourning caps have stripes to distinguish good and bad luck. The three-year-old white caps also have stripes and are sewn on the right. Minor merits and below wear left. The mourning caps have tassels. Great merits and above wear loose belts. The court dress is 15 liters, half of which is removed and the mourning caps are worn; adding ash is tin.
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