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The ex-wife is tough and can't be messed with

Confucius said: "I ate at Shao Shi and was full, and Shao Shi fed me with courtesy. When I offered sacrifices, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food is not enough for offerings.' When I ate, he stood up and said, 'Sparse food, I dare not hurt my son.'"

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Zeng Zi asked: "The girl is on the road when the groom's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The girl changes her clothes to a deep cloth and a white cloth to go to the funeral. If the girl is on the road and her parents die, she should return. "If the man-to-be comes to marry the daughter, but the daughter has not yet arrived, and there is a mourning ceremony of Qisui Dagong, what should be done?" Confucius said: "If the man does not come, he should change his clothes to the outer place; if the woman comes, she should change her clothes to the inner place; then she should take the throne and cry." Zengzi asked: "After the mourning is over, will the wedding ceremony be repeated?" Confucius said: "Sacrifice is not offered after the time is up, it is a ritual; why go back to the beginning?" Confucius said: "The family of marrying a daughter does not extinguish the candles for three nights, thinking of the separation. The family of marrying a daughter does not play music for three days, thinking of the successor. After three months, the temple is visited, which is called the coming daughter. Choose a day to offer sacrifices to the gods, which is the meaning of completing the daughter." Zengzi asked: "If the daughter dies before the temple is visited, what should be done?" Confucius said: "Do not move to the ancestors, do not bury her with the emperor's aunt, the man-to-be does not stick, do not give her money, and do not bury her in order, and return her to the party of the daughter's family to show that she is not a complete daughter." Zengzi asked: "Marry a daughter, on an auspicious day, and she dies, what should be done? "Confucius said, "A son-in-law mourns in the age of mourning, and removes the mourning after the burial. The same is true for a husband's death." Zengzi asked, "There are two orphans in a funeral, and two masters in a temple. Is this a ritual?" Confucius said, "There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, and there is no two superiors in the sacrifices to the suburbs. I don't know if it is a ritual. In the past, Duke Huan of Qi hurriedly raised his army and pretended to be a master. When he returned, he hid in the ancestral temple. The temple has two masters, which started with Duke Huan. The two orphans in a funeral, it was in the past when Duke Ling of Wei went to Lu and encountered the funeral of Ji Huanzi. The King of Wei asked for condolences, but Duke Ai declined and was not allowed to do so. The Duke was the master and the guest condoled. Kangzi stood on the right side of the door, facing north; the Duke bowed and yielded, ascended from the east steps, and faced west; the guest ascended from the west steps to condole. The Duke bowed, stood up, and cried; Kangzi bowed and bowed his head in his seat, and the officials did not argue. The two orphans today are the fault of Ji Kangzi. ”

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Jade Space

When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.

Hongtong

The King of Liang and the King of Zhao were close relatives of the country and were highly respected at the time. Duke Pei Ling asked the two countries to pay millions of yuan in rent every year to help the poor among his relatives. Someone ridiculed him and said, "Why do you beg for things to do good?" Pei said, "To take away from the surplus and give to the deficiency is the way of heaven."

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