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Therefore, only after the behaviors of filial piety, brotherhood, loyalty and obedience are established, can one be a man; only after being a man can one govern others. Therefore, the sage kings valued etiquette. Therefore, it is said that the cap is the beginning of etiquette and the most important thing for good things. Therefore, the ancients valued the cap; the cap was performed in the temple; the temple was performed to respect things; respect things and dare not take the initiative to do things; do not take the initiative to do things, so they humble themselves and respect the ancestors.
Xie Gong enjoyed the art with the wise men of the time, and E and Hu'er were sitting there with him. The Duke asked Li Hongdu, "How is your family in Pingyang compared to Le Ling?" Li Hongdu burst into tears and said, "When the King of Zhao usurped the throne, Le Ling personally gave him the seal and ribbon. My late uncle Yazheng was ashamed to be in a chaotic court, so he resorted to drugs. I'm afraid they can't be compared! This is self-evident from the facts, not just my personal opinion." Xie Gong said to Hu Er, "Those who are knowledgeable are not different from others."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Guo Zhaozi's mother died, he asked Zi Zhang, "At the funeral and tomb, what positions should men and women take?" Zi Zhang said, "At the funeral of Si Tu Jingzi, Confucius was the prime minister, and men faced west and women faced east." He said, "Ah! No." He said, "At my funeral, Si was involved. You are responsible for it, the guests are guests, the host is the host--women and men all face west."
Wang Xiuling asked Wang Changshi: "How does my family, Linchuan, compare to your family, Wanling?" Changshi did not answer, Xiuling said: "Linchuan is well-known for its high reputation." Changshi said: "Wanling is not unworthy."
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