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The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Chen Zhonggong was the chief of Taiqiu. There was a thief who robbed and killed a rich man, and he arrested him. Before reaching the place of departure, he heard on the road that some people were lying on the grass and refusing to get up, so he turned his carriage back to deal with it. The chief clerk said, "The thief is big, we should suppress him first." Zhonggong said, "How can it be better to kill a rich man than to kill one's own flesh and blood?"
Xie Cheqi asked Xie Gong: "If a person is really aloof, why is he so important?" He replied: "It is because he does not see it! Seeing Zi Jing still makes people unable to stop."
The meaning of the crown: The crown is made of black cloth. In ancient times, the cloth was black, and the Qi people wore it. As for its tassel, Confucius said: "I have never heard of it. It is better to wear it in a worn-out state." The son wears the crown on the east side to show his generation. The offering in the guest position is to add to the success. The three additions are more respected, which means his aspirations. The crown and the name are to respect the name. The appearance of the crown is the way of Zhou. The Zhangfu is the way of Yin. No pursuit is the way of the Xiahou clan. Zhou Bian, Yin Bian, Xia Shou. The three kings shared the leather cap and white pile. There is no ceremony for the crown of the senior officials, but there is a ceremony for their wedding. In ancient times, people were promoted to the rank of nobility after the age of fifty, so why did the crown ceremony of the senior officials exist? The crown ceremony of the princes was not invented until the end of the Xia Dynasty. The first son of the emperor is a scholar. There is no one in the world who is noble at birth. To establish the princes in succession is to show the virtue. To give people official titles is to kill virtue. To give posthumous titles after death is the present; in ancient times, there was no title when alive and no posthumous title when dead. What is respected in ritual is to respect its meaning. If it loses its meaning, it is the job of the historian to explain its number. Therefore, the number can be explained, but its meaning is difficult to know. Knowing its meaning and respecting it is the way for the emperor to rule the world.
Zi You asked about funeral supplies, and Confucius said, "It is called the family's death." Zi You said, "If there is a death, how can it be prepared?" Confucius said, "If there is a death, don't go too far. If the body is dead, put the head and body together, return to the burial, hang the coffin and seal it, who will criticize it!" Si Shi Ben told Zi You, "Please cover the bed." Zi You said, "Yes." Xianzi heard it and said, "How rude Shu Shi is! He only gives people etiquette."
Ziyun: "As for the father's hand, you can ride in his car but not wear his clothes. The gentleman uses this to expand filial piety." Confucius said: "The villain can all support their parents, but the gentleman is not respectful, how to distinguish?" Confucius said: "Father and son are not in the same position, so they are respectful." The Book of Documents says: "If you don't respect your ancestors, you will be disgraced." Confucius said: "When parents are alive, don't call them old, talk about filial piety but not kindness; inside the boudoir, play but don't sigh." The gentleman uses this to keep the people, and the people are still less filial and more kind. Confucius said: "The ruler of the people, the court respects the elderly, and then the people will be filial." Confucius said: "Sacrificial offerings have corpses, and they are the masters of the ancestral temples, which show the people that there is something to do. Repairing the ancestral temples and respecting the sacrifices are to teach the people to pursue filial piety." With this, the people still forget their parents.
Whenever Xi Chao heard that someone wanted to retire to a noble place, he would raise funds worth millions for them and build them a residence. He built a house for Dai Gong in Shan, which was very fine. Dai Shi went to his old residence and wrote to his relatives, saying, "I have just arrived in Shan and it is like an official residence." Xi also arranged for Fu to raise funds of one million yuan, but Fu was busy with some secret matters and therefore he was not left behind.
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