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Eat for three days, bathe for three months, and practice after a period of time, so that destruction does not destroy nature, and death does not hurt life. Mourning does not exceed three years, and mourning clothes do not repair, and graves are not built; on auspicious days, white harps are played to inform the people of the end; this is a rule of moderation. From serving the father to serving the mother, and love the same. There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two rulers in a country, no two masters in a family, and they are all governed by one. Therefore, when the father is alive, the mother should mourn for the same period of mourning, which shows that there is no two masters.
Zeng Zi asked, 鈥淭he ministers and officials will prepare the corpse for the Duke, and they will receive the funeral rites overnight, but there is mourning in the mourning clothes. What should we do?鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淲hen the corpse is taken out, it should be kept in the palace to wait for the funeral. This is the etiquette.鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淲hen the corpse is taken out with a hat and a crown, the ministers, officials, and scholars should all get out of the way. The corpse must be arranged in a proper manner and must be led in front.鈥 Zixia asked, 鈥淚s it the etiquette that the mourning period of three years is over and there is no need to avoid the funeral rites? Was there a supervisor at the beginning?鈥 Confucius said, 鈥淭he three-year mourning period of the Xia Dynasty was over, and the funeral rites were held after the funeral. The Yin people held the funeral rites after the burial. The Records says, 鈥楢 gentleman does not deprive others of their relatives, and one should not deprive them of their relatives.鈥 Is this what it means?鈥 Zixia said, 鈥淭here is no need to avoid the funeral rites, is it not? Confucius said, "I heard Lao Dan say that Duke Boqin of Lu did it for a purpose. I don't know who is following the benefit of the three-year mourning period now!"
Wang Dun鈥檚 brother Han was Guanglu Xun. After Dun rebelled, he stationed himself in Nanzhou, and Han resigned and fled to Gusu. Prime Minister Wang went to the palace to express his gratitude. The Minister of the Interior, the Prime Minister, and the officials of Yangzhou questioned him, but he was so confused that he didn't know what to say. Gu Sikong was then the deputy governor of Yangzhou. Yuan Han said, "Wang Guanglu has gone far away to avoid rumors, and you are lying in the dust on the road. The people below are worried. I wonder how you are doing?"
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious about virtue first. If you have virtue, you will have people; if you have people, you will have land; if you have land, you will have wealth; if you have wealth, you will have usefulness. Virtue is the root, and wealth is the end. The root is outside and the end is inside, and the people are robbed. Therefore, when wealth is gathered, the people will be scattered; when wealth is scattered, the people will be gathered. Therefore, words that are perversely spoken will also be perversely received; goods that are perversely received will also be perversely sent out. "Kang Gao" says: "Only the mandate is not constant." If the way is good, you will gain it; if it is not good, you will lose it. "Chu Shu" says: "Chu has no treasure, only goodness is its treasure." Uncle Fan said: "The dead have no treasure, only benevolence and relatives are their treasure."
When Wang Rong was a young man, he visited Ruan Ji. Liu Gongrong was also present. Ruan said to the king, "I happen to have two buckets of fine wine, and I would like to drink it with you. That Gong Rong has no right to drink it." The two men exchanged cups, and Gong Rong did not get a single drink. But when it came to talking and discussing drama, the three of them were no different. When someone asked him about this, Ruan replied, "Those who are more honorable than you have to drink with; those who are less honorable than you have to drink with; only those who are honorable as you have to drink with you can not drink with you."
Etiquette begins with respect for husband and wife, and distinguishing the inner and outer parts of the palace. Men live outside, women live inside, and the palace is deep and the gates are strong, with gatekeepers guarding it. Men do not enter, and women do not leave. Men and women do not use the same shackles, dare not hang on the husband's shackles, dare not hide in the husband's box, and dare not bathe together. When the husband is not at home, the pillow, box, mat, and quilt are hidden. The young serve the elder, the humble serve the noble, and everyone is the same. The etiquette of husband and wife only lasts until the age of seventy, and they share the same shackles. Therefore, even if the concubine is old, she must have sex with him for five days before she reaches fifty. The one who is about to give birth to a child, washes his head and washes his clothes carefully, combs his hair, puts on a hairpin, brushes his hair, and wears a collar, tassels, and sandals. Even maids and concubines must dress and eat after the elders. If the wife is not at home, the concubine dare not give birth to a child at night.
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