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Respect, prudence, and correctness before treating each other with affection, is the general principle of etiquette, and it is the way to establish the distinction between men and women, and the righteousness of husband and wife. There is a distinction between men and women, and then there is righteousness between husband and wife; there is righteousness between husband and wife, and then there is affection between father and son; there is affection between father and son, and then there is affection between ruler and minister. Correct. Therefore, it is said that the wedding ceremony is the root of etiquette.
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
The Master said: "Listen carefully! The three women, I told you: there are still nine etiquettes, and four great feasts. If you know this, even if you do it in the fields, you will be a sage. When two kings meet, they bow and yield to each other before entering the door, and then they go up to the hall after bowing and yielding to each other, and then the music stops. They play Xiang and Wu, Xia and Yue in sequence. They set out their offerings, arrange their rituals and music, and prepare their hundreds of officials. Only in this way can a gentleman know benevolence. He follows the rules and returns to the rules, and he is in harmony with the phoenix. When a guest leaves, he is in harmony with the phoenix, and he is in harmony with the feathers. Therefore, a gentleman knows everything in etiquette. When he enters the door, the sound of gold is made to show his feelings. When he rises to sing Qingmiao, he is indebted to his virtue. When he goes down to play Xiang, he is indebted to his deeds. Therefore, the gentlemen of ancient times did not need to talk to each other in person, but only showed each other etiquette and music.
Wang Wuzi was blamed and moved to Beimangxia. At that time, there were many people and land was valuable. Ji was good at horse riding and shooting, so he bought land to build ridges and even compiled coins to buy land. People at that time called it "Jingou".
When the king summons, even if they are low-ranking people, officials and scholars must drive themselves. The assistants do not bow, but bow for the bow of others. The auspicious carriage is open to the left, and riding in the king's carriage is not allowed to open to the left; the left must be bowed. When the servants drive, women advance their left hands, then their right hands; when driving the king, advance their right hands, then their left hands and bow. The king does not ride in a strange carriage. Do not cough widely on the carriage, and do not point randomly. Stand and look at the five corners, look at the horse's tail, and look back not beyond the hub. In the country, use a whip to show respect and do not drive. Dust does not go astray. The king of a country lowers his cattle to the ancestral temple. The great officials and scholars lower their gates to the public office and ride on the road. When riding on a road horse, one must wear court clothes and carry a whip and spurs. One must not give the reins, and the left hand must be in a hurry. When walking on a road horse, one must walk in the middle of the road. If one uses his feet to push the road horse's fodder, he will be punished. If one is a senior road horse, he will be punished.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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