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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, a minor official stole fish from a pond, and the emperor punished him for it. The king said, "King Wen's game park is shared with all the people. Why should I care about the fish in the pond?"
The pawns were thrown, and the archer held the count and said, "Left and right pawns threw, please count." Two counts were pure, one pure was taken, and one count was odd. Then he said the odd count, "So-and-so is better than so-and-so by how many pure." If it was odd, it was called odd, and if it was even, it was called left and right even.
Ruan Sikuang followed Dafa and had great respect and faith in it. The eldest son, who was not yet twenty years old, suddenly fell seriously ill. Since the child is loved and cherished, I pray to the Three Jewels for him day and night without stopping. It means that those who are sincere and moved will surely be blessed. But the child became useless. Thus, he became envious of the Buddhists and his past fate was eliminated.
Yang Sui's second son, Fu, was a talented young man. He was good friends with Xie Yishou and once went to Xie Yishou early in the morning to pay his respects, but had not yet eaten. Soon Wang Qi and Wang Du came. Since they had not known each other before, the king showed displeasure at the banquet and wanted to ask Yang to leave. The sheep did not look around, but only rested his feet on the table, looking around calmly. After Xie exchanged a few words with Wang, he turned to talk about the appreciation with Yang. Wang then realized what was so special and they joined him in talking. Soon the food was eaten, and the two kings were unable to eat, except for the sheep. The sheep did not respond much, but ate heartily, and then left after eating. Then he tried hard to keep him, but Yang Yi refused to stay and said, "I couldn't obey your order before, and China is still empty." The two kings were the two younger brothers of Xiaobo.
Ruan Guanglu went to the mountain tomb and arrived at the capital. He did not go to Yin, Liu and Xu, but returned after doing his business. Everyone chased after him, but Ruan knew that the current would catch up with him, so he ran away quickly, and when he reached Fangshan, he could not catch up with them. Liu Yin was the governor of Kuaiji at that time, so he sighed and said, "I will stay at Anshi Island when I enter. I dare not go near Sikuang again, as he can grab a stick and beat me. It is not easy."
The host and the guest symbolize heaven and earth; the host and the guest symbolize yin and yang; the three guests symbolize the three lights; the three of them symbolize the three days of the moon; the four sides of the seat symbolize the four seasons.
When a person dies, he should not be idle for three days, and he should not be relieved for three months. He should be sad for three years, and he should be worried for three years - this is the killing of grace. The sage uses killing to control moderation, and this is why mourning lasts for three years. The wise should not go beyond the limit, and the unworthy should not fail to reach the limit. This is the mean of mourning, and it is what the king always does. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is good; all kings should follow this ritual. Why is it good for him alone? It is said: Emperor Gaozong was Wu Ding; Wu Ding was a wise king of the Yin Dynasty. He succeeded the throne and was kind and good at mourning. At this time, the Yin Dynasty declined and revived, and rituals were abolished and revived, so he did it well. Because it was good, it was recorded in the book and praised, so he was called Emperor Gaozong. During the three-year mourning, the king did not speak. The Book of Documents says: "Emperor Gaozong was lenient and did not speak for three years." This is what it means. However, those who say "speaking without culture" refer to the ministers.
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