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When Xi Jiabin died, his wife's brothers wanted to bring their sister back, but she refused to come. He said: "Even if I cannot live in the same room with Xi Lang, I would rather not be buried in the same grave with him after death!"
The rituals for women are established to make it clear that women are obedient, and they are also explained in order, so that women are required to be obedient. A submissive woman is obedient to her uncles and aunts, and harmonious with the family members; then she is responsible to her husband, and completes the affairs of silk, linen, cloth and silk, and carefully guards the accumulation and storage. Therefore, only when women are obedient can the family be harmonious and orderly; only when the family is harmonious and orderly can the family last long; therefore, the sage kings attach great importance to it.
The Master said: "Shun is a great wise man! Shun likes to ask questions and likes to investigate what others say, hides evil and promotes good, holds both ends, and uses the middle for the people. Is this what Shun is!"
Offering sacrifices and offering wine are respectful etiquette. Eating lungs is a ritual. Spitting wine is a ritual. At the end of the feast, it means that this is the main part of the feast, not just for eating and drinking, but for performing rituals. This is why rituals are valued and money is despised. After the cup is finished, it is placed on the west steps, which means that the feast is not just for eating and drinking. This is the meaning of putting rituals first and money second. If rituals are put first and money second, people will be respectful and yield without fighting.
Wang Dao and Wen Qiao both met Emperor Ming, and the emperor asked Wen how he had gained the empire in his previous life. Wen did not answer. After a while, the king said, "Wen Qiao is young and inexperienced, so I will explain it to Your Majesty." The king then narrated in detail how King Xuan started his career, executed the barbarians and famous tribes, and favored those who were like him. At the end of King Wen's reign, Gaogui was in charge of public affairs. When Emperor Ming heard this, he fell to the bed and said, "If what you said is true, how can my reign last long?"
Jianwen saw rice in the field and didn't recognize it, so he asked what kind of grass it was. The answer is rice. Jianwen returned and did not come out for three days, saying: "Would you rather rely on the end than know the root?"
Ziyun: "As for the father's hand, you can ride in his car but not wear his clothes. The gentleman uses this to expand filial piety." Confucius said: "The villain can all support their parents, but the gentleman is not respectful, how to distinguish?" Confucius said: "Father and son are not in the same position, so they are respectful." The Book of Documents says: "If you don't respect your ancestors, you will be disgraced." Confucius said: "When parents are alive, don't call them old, talk about filial piety but not kindness; inside the boudoir, play but don't sigh." The gentleman uses this to keep the people, and the people are still less filial and more kind. Confucius said: "The ruler of the people, the court respects the elderly, and then the people will be filial." Confucius said: "Sacrificial offerings have corpses, and they are the masters of the ancestral temples, which show the people that there is something to do. Repairing the ancestral temples and respecting the sacrifices are to teach the people to pursue filial piety." With this, the people still forget their parents.
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