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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Mei Yi once did a lot of favors to Mr. Tao. Later he became the prefect of Yuzhang. When something happened, Prime Minister Wang sent someone to arrest him. Kan said: "The emperor is rich in the Spring and Autumn Annals, and all affairs are decided by the princes. Since the princes have obtained the record, why can't Lord Tao be released?" So he sent people to the river mouth to seize it. Yi met Mr. Tao and bowed, but Mr. Tao stopped him. Yi said: "Mei Zhongzhen kneeled down, how can he bend again tomorrow?"
Queen Wei Zhen was virtuous and beautiful. She was first the wife of Yuan Xi and was very favored. When the Duke of Cao slaughtered Ye, he ordered Zhen to be summoned immediately. His attendants reported, "The Minister of the Five Officials has already left." The Duke said, "This year, we will defeat the bandits and become their slaves."
The Master said: "Ritual is reason; music is moderation. A gentleman does not move without reason, and does not act without moderation. If he cannot read poetry, he is wrong in etiquette; if he cannot play music, he is simple in etiquette; if he is weak in virtue, he is empty in etiquette. "The Master said, "The system is in the rites, the culture is in the rites, and the practice is up to the people!" Zigong crossed the table and replied, "May I ask: Is Kui poor?" The Master said, "Ancient people? Ancient people. Those who are good at rites but not music are called simple; those who are good at music but not rites are called partial. Kui was good at music but not rites, so he passed down this name. He was an ancient person."
After He Huoqi died, he summoned Zhu Gong. When they arrived at Shitou, Wang Changshi and Liu Yin went to Zhu together. Zhu said, "What do you think of me, Zhen Chang?" Zhen Chang looked back at the king and said, "This boy is good at speaking." Zhu then looked at the king, who said, "The country has its own Duke Zhou."
The study of memorizing and asking questions is not enough to be a teacher. It is necessary to listen to the words, and if you can't ask them, then tell them; if you don't understand after the words, you can just give up.
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