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Zhong Yu was a Huangmen Lang. He was alert and was at the banquet with King Jing. At that time, Xuanbo, the son of Chen Qun, and Yuanxia, the son of Wu Zhou, were sitting together and they laughed at Yu. King Jing asked, "What kind of person is Gao Yao?" He replied, "He is a virtuous man in ancient times." Turning back to Xuanbo and Yuanxia, he said, "A gentleman is inclusive but not partial, and he is a group but not a party."
When the main cup was served, please set up the horses. Each horse was straight to its count. One horse followed two horses to celebrate. The celebration ceremony said, "Three horses are ready, please celebrate more horses." Both the host and the guest said, "Yes." When the main cup was served, please clear the horses.
Xie Youyu said: "My friend Wang Meizi is clear and fluent, Ji Yanzu is broad-minded, elegant and profound, and Dong Zhongdao is outstanding and well-mannered."
Zixia said: "The words are great! Beautiful! Magnificent! Is it all that is said?" Confucius said: "Why is it so? The gentleman's clothes still have five rises." Zixia said: "How is it?" Confucius said: "The music without sound, the spirit and will are not violated; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are slow; the mourning without clothes, the inner forgiveness is sad. The music without sound, the spirit and will are obtained; the etiquette without form, the dignity and manners are cautious; the mourning without clothes is applied to the four countries. The music without sound, the spirit and will are in accordance with; the etiquette without form, the upper and lower are in harmony; the mourning without clothes, to keep all nations. The music without sound is heard in all directions every day; the ritual without form is heard day by day; the mourning without mourning clothes is pure virtue and wisdom. The music without sound is aroused; the ritual without form is spread to the four seas; the mourning without mourning clothes is spread to Sun Tzu. "
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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