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In mourning, one should only look at the deceased but not answer; in mourning of the same age, one should answer but not speak; in mourning of the great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in mourning of the minor merit, one should discuss but not enjoy music. This is the expression of grief in speech.

Confucius was sitting with Duke Ai, who said, “May I ask who is the most important in human nature?” Confucius looked sad and replied, “Your Majesty, when you said this, it is the virtue of the people! How dare I answer without words? In human nature, politics is the most important.” The Duke said, “May I ask what is politics?” Confucius replied, “Politics is justice. If the monarch is just, the people will follow politics. What the monarch does, the people will follow. What the monarch does not do, how can the people follow?” The Duke said, “May I ask how to govern?” Confucius replied, “Husband and wife are different, father and son are close, and monarch and minister are strict. Three If the ruler is upright, all things will follow him. "The Duke said, "Although I am not like you, I would like to hear the reason why I practice the Three Words. Can I hear it?" Confucius replied, "In ancient times, loving people was the most important thing in governing; the most important thing in governing people was courtesy; the most important thing in governing courtesy was respect; when respect is the highest, the great wedding is the greatest. The great wedding is here! When the great wedding is here, wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person is to be close to him. To be close to the emperor is to be close to the emperor. Therefore, a gentleman should promote respect as a way to be close to the emperor; abandoning respect is to abandon one's relatives. Without love, there is no closeness; without respect, there is no justice. Love and respect are the foundation of politics!" The Duke said, "I would like to have something to say. But wearing a crown and welcoming the emperor in person, isn't that too important?" Confucius looked sad and replied, "To unite the two families, to succeed the ancestors, to be the masters of the heaven, earth, ancestral temples, and the land, why do you say that it is too important?" The Duke said, "I am stubborn! If I am not stubborn, how can I hear such words? I want to ask, but I can't say it. Please come in a little bit!" Confucius said: "If heaven and earth are not united, all things cannot grow. The great marriage is the heir of ten thousand generations. Why do you think you are already so important?" Confucius then said: "If you govern the ancestral temple at home, you will be able to match the gods of heaven and earth; if you govern the country with the etiquette of speaking frankly, you will be able to establish respect between superiors and subordinates. Shame for things will be able to revive it, and shame for the country will be able to revive it. Governing starts with etiquette. Etiquette is the root of governance!" Confucius then said: "The governance of the wise kings of the Three Dynasties must respect their wives and children. There is a way. The wife is the master of the parents. How dare you not respect her? The son is the successor of the parents. How dare you not respect her? A gentleman respects everything, and respecting oneself is the most important. The body is the branch of the parents. How dare you not respect it? Failure to respect oneself hurts one's parents; hurting one's parents hurts the root; hurting the root, the branches will die. These three are the images of the people. One's body is as good as one's body, one's son is as good as one's son, and one's concubine is as good as one's concubine. If a king practices these three, then the world will be united. This is the way of the great king. In this way, the country will be in harmony. ”

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