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Dai Andao had already strengthened his rule in Dongshan, and his brother wanted to follow suit to stop him. Taifu Xie said, "Why are your ambitions so different?" Dai said, "I cannot bear the worry, but my brother is happy."
A good singer makes people follow his voice; a good teacher makes people follow his will. His words are concise but clear, subtle but good, and rarely use metaphors, which can be called continuing his will.
Zhang Tianxi was a powerful man in Liangzhou for generations. He went to the capital with his weak strength. Although he was a different species from others in a distant place, he was also a rebellious person among the border people. I heard that there are many talented people in the imperial capital, and I was full of admiration. He was still staying in Zhu, so Sima Zhuo went to visit him. His words and appearance are vulgar and worthless to listen to. Tian Xi's heart is filled with regrets, so he decided to go far away to protect himself. Wang Mi was known for his talent and was recommended to the emperor when he heard of him. When he arrived, Tian Xi saw that he had a clear and elegant demeanor, spoke fluently, and was well-versed in everything from ancient times to the present. He also knew the characters and clans, and there was evidence for all of them. Tian Xi was surprised and convinced.
When a son serves his parents: if he advises them three times but they still don鈥檛 listen, he should cry and follow them. When the king is ill and takes medicine, the minister should taste it first. When a parent is ill and takes medicine, the son should taste it first.
Ritual: In the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should only speak but not answer; in the mourning of mourning with mourning clothes, one should answer but not speak; in the mourning of great merit, one should speak but not discuss; in the mourning of small merit, one should discuss but not play music.
Chen Yuanfang's son Changwen was a talented person. He and Ji Fang's son Xiaoxian each discussed the merits and virtues of his father, but could not reach a conclusion, so they consulted Taiqiu. Taiqiu said: "Yuanfang is difficult to be a brother, and Jifang is difficult to be a younger brother."
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
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