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The Grand Tutor Sima said of the two kings: "Xiao Bo is tall and straight, while A Da Luo Luo is clear and unrestrained."
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
When the senior officials and scholars meet the king, if the king is pleased with them, they shall step aside, bow twice and kowtow; if the king greets them, they shall step aside and dare not return the bow. When the senior officials and scholars meet, even if they are of different ranks, if the host respects the guest, he shall bow to the guest first; if the guest respects the host, he shall bow to the host first. Unless they are mourning or meeting the king, they shall return the bow.
Therefore, a gentleman should be cautious and not lose his face in front of others. The king should be polite, and the ministers should be inferior to him. The ministers should be polite, and the scholars should be inferior to him. Etiquette should not be given to common people, and punishment should not be given to ministers. Punishers should not be at the king's side.
King Jiong of Qi was the Grand Marshal assisting in the administration, and Ji Shao was the Palace Attendant, who went to Jiong to consult on matters. Jiong set up a meeting of ministers and summoned Ge Yi, Dong Ai and others to discuss current affairs. Yi and others said to Jiong: "Minister Ji is good at playing stringed instruments. You can ask him to play it." So they sent the musical instruments. Shao Tui refused. Jiong said, "We are all happy today, why are you resisting?" Shao said, "You have assisted the royal family and made them do things in an exemplary manner. Although Shao is a low-ranking official, his duties are equivalent to those of an ordinary official. Playing silk and bamboo is the job of a musician. It cannot be dressed according to the rules of the previous kings, which is the occupation of the people of Wu. Now that I am forced to accept the emperor's order, I dare not refuse. I should put down my crown and wear private clothes. This is what Shao wants." Yu and others were dissatisfied and left.
When a relative dies, the chickens and the chickens go barefoot, hold the upper hem, and cry with their hands. The heart of pity and the intention of pain and illness hurt the kidneys, dry the liver and burn the lungs. Water and liquid cannot enter the mouth. No fire is lit for three days, so the neighbors make porridge for him to eat and drink. The grief is in the heart, so the body changes on the outside. The pain and illness are in the heart, so the mouth does not taste good and the body is not comfortable.
When the father is in mourning, the sons in the palace cannot participate in the music. When the mother is in mourning, If the sound is heard, do not play music. If the wife is in mourning, do not play music beside her. When a great achievement is about to come, set aside the zither and the harp. When a small achievement comes, do not stop the music.
When Sun Qiyou and Qizhuang were young, they visited Duke Yu. The Duke asked, "What is Qiyou's name?" He replied, "Qiyou." The Duke said, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Xuyou." "What is Qizhuang's name?" He replied, "Qi Zhuang." The Duke asked, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Zhuangzhou." The Duke said, "Why do you admire Zhuangzhou instead of Confucius?" He replied, "Sages are knowledgeable, so they are hard to admire." Duke Yu was very pleased with the child's answer.
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