carmen electra

God on campus

The king will not kill cattle without reason, the officials will not kill sheep without reason, and the scholars will not kill dogs or pigs without reason. A gentleman stays away from the kitchen, and does not step on anything that has blood and flesh. If it does not rain in August, the king will not rise. If the year is not auspicious, the king will wear cloth and fold his head, and will not rent the gates and bridges. The mountains and lakes will be built but no taxes will be levied. If there is no land construction, the officials will not build carriages and horses. The soothsayer determines the tortoise shell, the historian determines the inkstone, and the king determines the body. The king's chariot is made of lamb and tiger; the officials' chariots are made of deer and leopard; the court chariots are made of deer and leopard. The gentleman always lives in front of the door and sleeps in the east. If there is a strong wind, thunder and heavy rain, he must change his residence, even at night, he must rise, dress and sit. Wash his hands five times a day, bathe with millet and wash his head with sorghum, comb his hair with a cypress comb, and comb his hair with an ivory comb. He offers food and food, and then the workers start to sing. When bathing, use two towels, the upper one is gauze and the lower one is silk. Take out the scoop, step on the Kuai mat, use the soup, step on the cattail mat, wear cloth to light the body, and then drink. When going to the official office, stay overnight and take precautions, sleep outside, bathe, the historian presents the ivory tablet, writes and thinks about the order; after dressing, practice the appearance and observe the jade sound, then go out, bow to the private court, and shine, and get on the car. The emperor is upright, which is upright in the world. The princes are bent in front and straight in the back, giving way to the emperor. The officials are bent in front and back, giving way to everything.

My master is Lan Xiaoruo

Pretty Boy Sun Fugui

For a senior official or a concubine of a noble family, the king should make a large coffin; if he gives a gift to the concubine, he should make a small coffin. For a concubine of a noble family, the king should come after the funeral. For a scholar, he should go after the funeral; if he gives a gift to the concubine, he should make a large coffin. For a concubine of a noble family, the lady should make a large coffin; if he gives a gift to the concubine, she should make a small coffin. For all wives, she should make a gift to the concubine and make a large coffin. For a concubine of a senior official or scholar, the king should go after the funeral. When a senior official or scholar is buried, the king should send someone to warn him, and the host should prepare a solemn offering and wait outside the gate. When he sees the horse's head, he should enter the right first. The witch should stop outside the gate. The king should take over first, and the king should place food inside the gate. The witch should ascend the steps of the east first, and face south with his back to the wall. The king should ascend the throne of the east. Two junior officials should stand in front with spears, and two should stand behind. When the emissary enters, the host bows and kowtows. When the king says his words, he looks at the prayer and dances, and the host dances. The great official may offer the sacrifice. The scholar shall wait outside the door, and when ordered to offer the sacrifice, he shall do so. After the sacrifice, the host shall wait outside the door first, and the king shall leave, and the host shall see him off outside the door, bowing and kowtows. When the king asks about the illness of the great official three times, and if he is in the funeral, he shall go there three times; when the scholar is ill, he shall ask once, and if he is in the funeral, he shall go there once. When the king offers condolences, he shall put on the funeral clothes. When the lady offers condolences to the great official or scholar, the host shall meet her outside the door, see the horse's head, and enter the door to the right first. The lady enters, ascends the hall and takes the throne. The mistress descends from the west steps, bows and kowtows below. The lady looks at the crown prince and dances. Offering the sacrifice is the same as when the king arrives. When the lady leaves, the mistress sees her off inside the door, bows and kowtows; the host sees her off outside the gate without bowing. The great official and the king shall not meet him outside the door. Enter and take the throne at the bottom of the hall. The host faces north, and the other hosts face south; the woman takes the seat in the room. If there is a king's order, the husband and the wife shall follow the order, and the neighbors and guests, the king should bow after the host. When the king mourns, he should see the coffin and then dance. If the ministers and scholars go without the king's warning, they should not prepare a solemn offering; the king must offer an offering after he leaves.

Cure all diseases

Whenever Shi Chong invited guests to a banquet, he would always ask beauties to serve wine. If a guest does not finish drinking, the eunuch will order the beauty to be beheaded. Prime Minister Wang and the general once visited Chong together. The Prime Minister could not drink, but he forced himself to drink until he became drunk. Whenever he met the general, he would not drink, in order to observe the changes. He had already killed three people, but his expression remained the same and he still refused to drink. The Prime Minister declined the offer, but the General said, "It is none of your business to kill his family members!"

Love Energy Conservation

When Liu Daozhen was young, he often fished in the marshes. He was good at singing and whistling, and everyone who heard him would linger. There was an old woman who recognized that he was not an ordinary person and was very pleased with his singing and whistling, so she killed a pig and presented it to him. Daozhen ate all the pork and didn't even thank him. Seeing that she was not full, the old woman offered another piece of pork, ate half and the rest, and then returned it. Later he became a Lang of the Ministry of Personnel, and the old woman became a Xiao Lingshi, and Daozhen made great use of her. He didn't know why, so he asked his mother, and his mother told him. So he brought an ox and some wine to Daozhen, who said, "Go away! Go away! I have nothing to offer you."

I've been trapped on the same day for five thousand years