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When Du Qiao's mother died, there was no one in the palace, thinking it was a traitor. Confucius said, "When she died, she wore lamb fur and black hat, just change it." The Confucius did not mourn for lamb fur and black hat.
The mourning clothes for the deceased are three liters, and after the mourning period, six liters of cloth and seven liters of cap are given; for the mother, four liters of mourning clothes for the deceased are given, seven liters of cloth and eight liters of cap are given. Remove the hemp and wear kudzu, and wear a three-layered kudzu belt. When the time comes for a minor funeral, wear a lanyard cap with a lanyard, but do not remove the sash. Men remove the head, and women remove the sash. Why do men remove the head? Why do women remove the sash? Men focus on the head, and women focus on the sash. Those who remove the heavy clothes first, and those who change clothes change to the light clothes. When the time comes for a major funeral, wear plain white and linen clothes. In the middle of the month, mourning is performed, and the mourning period is light, and everything is worn.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
After Zhi Daoling passed away Faqian, his spirit became depressed and his character deteriorated. He often said to people: "In the past, Jiang Shi gave up his axe and asked the people of Ying for help, and Ya Sheng gave up his string instrument and asked Zhong Zi for help. They pushed themselves to seek outside, and it was not in vain! Now that the secret agreement is gone, no one will appreciate my words. With the knot in my heart, I will die!" One year later, Zhi died.
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