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Ziyou asked, “Is it a courtesy to mourn a loving mother as if she were your own mother?” Confucius said, “It is not a courtesy. In ancient times, men had tutors outside and loving mothers inside, and they were appointed by the king to teach their children. Why should they wear mourning clothes? In the past, Duke Zhao of Lu lost his mother when he was young. He had a loving mother who was good. When her mother died, the duke could not bear to mourn her. He wanted to mourn her. The officials reported it to the king, who said, “According to the ancient etiquette, loving mothers should not be mourned. Now you are mourning for her. This is against the ancient etiquette and disrupts the laws of the country. If you carry it out, the officials will write it down and leave it to future generations. Isn’t it wrong!” The duke said, “In ancient times, the emperor wore a silk hat when he was at home. 'The Duke could not bear it, so he wore a white hat to mourn his beloved mother. The practice of mourning a beloved mother began with Duke Zhao of Lu. Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet the emperor, they cannot complete the ceremony when entering the door. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Four." Please ask. He said, "The great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished. If all the princes are present and the sun is eclipsed, they will follow the emperor to put out the sun, and each will give his own weapons in his own color. If the great temple is on fire, they will follow the emperor to put out the fire, and will not give his own weapons in his own color." Zengzi asked, "When the princes meet, they bow and yield to each other when entering the door, and cannot complete the ceremony. How many of them are abolished?" Confucius said, "Six." Please ask. He said, "When the emperor dies, the great temple is on fire, the sun is eclipsed, the queen's funeral, and the rain soaks the clothes and makes them lose their appearance, then it is abolished." Zengzi asked, "When the emperor has offered sacrifices to the five sacrifices in the suburbs and the altars, the food and utensils have been laid out, and when the emperor dies, what should be done with the queen's funeral?" Confucius said, "Abolished. Zengzi asked, "When the sacrifice is to be made and the sun is eclipsed, and the Taimiao is on fire, what should be done with the sacrifice?" Confucius said, "Just follow the sacrifice. If the animal arrives but has not been killed, it is cancelled. When the emperor dies but has not been buried, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the funeral, the sacrifice is performed, the corpse is brought in, the three meals are not served, and the wine is not vinegared. From the opening to the return of the mourning, the five sacrifices cannot be performed; after the burial, the sacrifice is performed, the prayers are finished and the offerings are made." Zengzi asked, "When the princes offer sacrifices to the gods and grain, the sacrificial vessels and dishes are already laid out. What should they do when they hear of the death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the king, or the mourning of the lady?" Confucius said, "Abolish it. From the death to the funeral, from the opening to the return of the mourning, they serve the emperor." Zengzi asked, "When the ministers offer sacrifices, the tripods and sacrificial vessels are laid out, and the dishes are set out, but the rituals cannot be completed. How many of them are cancelled?" Confucius said, "Nine. "Please ask. He said: "The death of the emperor, the mourning of the queen, the death of the monarch, the mourning of the lady, the fire of the monarch's grand temple, the solar eclipse, the three-year mourning, the mourning of Qisui and the great merit are all abolished. The mourning of the outside world from Qisui onwards is carried out. The sacrifice of Qisui is that the corpse is brought in, three meals are not served, and the wine is not made with vinegar. The great merit is just a vinegar. The small merit and mourning are just things in the room. The reason why scholars are different is that they do not offer sacrifices in mourning, and they offer sacrifices to the dead without wearing mourning clothes. "

Even after his parents die, if he wants to do good things and wants to bring good reputation to his parents, he will do it; if he wants to do bad things and wants to bring shame to his parents, he will not do it. When the uncle dies, the aunt will be old. The tomb-wife's sacrifices and guests must be asked to the aunt, and the intermediary woman must ask the tomb-wife. If the uncle and aunt use the tomb-wife, do not be lazy, be unfriendly and rude to the intermediary woman. If the uncle and aunt use the intermediary woman, do not dare to fight the tomb-wife, do not walk side by side, do not order her to do the same, and do not sit with her. All women should not leave unless they are ordered to go to the private room. If a woman has something to do, no matter how big or small, she must ask the uncle and aunt. The son's wife should not have private goods, private livestock, or private utensils. She should not borrow privately or give privately. If a woman gives food, clothing, cloth, pendants, or orchids to a man, he should accept them and offer them to his uncle and aunt. If the uncle and aunt accept them, they will be happy as if they had just received a gift. If they are given back, they should refuse and not be ordered. If they are given again, they should store them for future use. If a woman has a private brother who wants to give something, she must ask for the reason again and give it to him after he is given. Married sons and concubines only serve the eldest son and his wife. Even if they are rich, they dare not enter the eldest son's house with their wealth. Even if they have many carriages and servants, they should enter with a few. If the sons and younger brothers return utensils, clothing, furs, quilts, carriages and horses, they must offer the best ones before they dare to use the next best ones. If they are not offered, they dare not enter the eldest son's house with them, and dare not use their wealth to add to their father, brothers and clans. If they are rich, they should prepare two animals and offer the wisest one to the eldest son. The husband and wife should all be present and the clan should show respect. Only after the ceremony is over can they dare to offer sacrifices privately.

Wang Youjun and Xie Gong went to see Ruan Gong. When they reached the door, they said to Xie: "So we should jointly recommend the master." Xie said: "It is difficult to recommend the master."

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