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Eat for three days, bathe for three months, and practice after a period of time, so that destruction does not destroy nature, and death does not hurt life. Mourning does not exceed three years, and mourning clothes do not repair, and graves are not built; on auspicious days, white harps are played to inform the people of the end; this is a rule of moderation. From serving the father to serving the mother, and love the same. There is no two suns in the sky, no two kings on earth, no two rulers in a country, no two masters in a family, and they are all governed by one. Therefore, when the father is alive, the mother should mourn for the same period of mourning, which shows that there is no two masters.
The Grand Tutor Sima said of the two kings: "Xiao Bo is tall and straight, while A Da Luo Luo is clear and unrestrained."
Confucians are knowledgeable but not exhausted, and they practice diligently but not tired; they live in seclusion but not licentious, and they are connected with their superiors but not in trouble; they value harmony in etiquette, the beauty of loyalty and trustworthiness, and the law of leisure. They promote the virtuous and tolerate the masses, and criticize the square and unite the tiles. Their generosity is like this.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
When Zhou Jun was the governor of Andong, he went hunting and encountered a rainstorm, so he passed by Li's family in Runan. The Li family is wealthy, but the man is not around. There was a girl named Luoxiu. Upon hearing that there was a distinguished person outside, she and a maidservant slaughtered pigs and sheep inside and prepared food for dozens of people. They did everything very carefully and no sound of anyone was heard. He secretly observed her and saw a girl with an extraordinary appearance, so Jun asked her to be his concubine. My father and brother don鈥檛 allow it. Luoxiu said: "Our family is ruined, why should we cherish a daughter? If she marries into a noble family, it may be of great benefit in the future." Her father and brother agreed. Then the brothers Bo Ren were born. Luo Xiu said to Bo Ren and others: "The reason why I humble myself and serve as a concubine in your family is for the sake of our family. If you don't become a close relative of my family, I will not cherish the rest of my life." Bo Ren and others obeyed her orders. As a result, Li was able to enjoy a good fortune during his lifetime.
The meaning of drinking in the township: set up the guest to symbolize the sky, set up the host to symbolize the earth, set up the intermediary to symbolize the sun and the moon, and set up three guests to symbolize the three lights. The ancient rituals were based on the heaven and the earth, recorded by the sun and the moon, and compared with the three lights. This is the foundation of politics and education.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone鈥檚 name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one鈥檚 color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
When Duke Huan of the Han Dynasty was on his northern expedition and passed through Jincheng, he saw the willows he had planted when he was in Langya, all of which were ten feet in circumference. He sighed and said, "If trees are like this, how can people bear it!" He climbed up the branches and held onto the twigs, tears streaming down his face.
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