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Xie Zhonglang was Wang Lantian's son-in-law. He once wore a white silk scarf and went to Yangzhou to listen to the king's affairs. He said frankly: "People say that you are stupid, but you believe that you are stupid." Lantian said: "It is true that there is no such opinion, but it is too late."
Confucius said: "How can Zang Wenzhong know the rituals! Xia Fu Fuqi was against the sacrifice, but he did not stop. Burning firewood in the ao, the ao is the sacrifice of old women, with basins and bottles. Rituals are like the body. If the body is not complete, the gentleman says it is not a man. If it is not properly set, it is still incomplete."
Confucius said: "The Way is not far from people. If people practice the Way and distance themselves from others, they cannot be considered the Way. The Book of Songs says: 'Cut the wood, chop the wood, its principle is not far away.' Holding a stick to chop wood, looking at it from a distance, it still seems far away. Therefore, a gentleman governs people by their own way, and stops when he changes. Loyalty and forgiveness are not far from the Way. If you do not want to do it yourself, do not do it to others. There are four ways of a gentleman, and I have not been able to do any of them. What I ask of my son is to serve my father, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my minister is to serve my king, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my younger brother is to serve my elder brother, but I have not been able to do it; what I ask of my friends is to give them first, but I have not been able to do it. The actions of a mediocre person are cautious; if there is something that is lacking, he dare not not try hard, and if there is something that is more than enough, he dare not use it all; if he speaks, he will act accordingly, and if he acts, he will act accordingly. Why does a gentleman not have to be frank!"
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
He Yan and Deng Yang asked Guan Lu to make a hexagram, saying: "I wonder if the position will reach Three Dukes?" After the hexagram was made, Lu quoted the ancient meaning and took it as a deep warning. Yang said, "This is what old people always say." Yan said, "How amazing! The ancients thought it was difficult. Today, people think it is difficult to be sincere in communication. Now you have achieved two difficult things at the same time. You can be called 'the bright virtue is fragrant'. Doesn't the poem say, 'Hide it in your heart, how can you forget it?'"
When Sun Qiyou and Qizhuang were young, they visited Duke Yu. The Duke asked, "What is Qiyou's name?" He replied, "Qiyou." The Duke said, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Xuyou." "What is Qizhuang's name?" He replied, "Qi Zhuang." The Duke asked, "What Qi do you want?" He replied, "Qi Zhuangzhou." The Duke said, "Why do you admire Zhuangzhou instead of Confucius?" He replied, "Sages are knowledgeable, so they are hard to admire." Duke Yu was very pleased with the child's answer.
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