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Zengzi said: "When mourning, there is illness, eating meat and drinking wine, there must be the nourishment of plants and trees. It is called ginger and cinnamon."
The wet nurse of Emperor Wu of Han once committed a crime outside. The emperor wanted to enforce the law, and the wet nurse asked Dongfang Shuo for help. Shuo said, "This is not a matter of argument. If you really want to be saved, you should look back at the emperor many times before leaving and be careful not to say anything! This may be a one in a million hope." When the wet nurse arrived, Shuo was also serving by her side, so he said to her, "You are foolish! Does the emperor still remember the kindness he showed when you were feeding him?" Although the emperor was talented and strong-willed, he also had deep feelings for her, so he felt sad for her and immediately ordered her to be pardoned.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Kang Sengyuan was in Yuzhang, several dozen miles away from the city, and built a monastery. There are mountains on the side and long rivers on the side, fragrant forests line the courtyards and clear streams rush around the halls. He studied and lectured at leisure, hoping to savor the essence of his works. Many people like Yu Gong went to see him. Watching him use breathing exercises, his temperament becomes better. In addition, he was content with his situation and felt happy, so his reputation grew. Later he couldn't bear it anymore and left.
Xun Jubo saw his friend sick from afar, when the Hu bandits attacked the county, his friend said to Jubo, "I am dying now, you can go!" Jubo said, "I came from afar to see you, and you asked me to go. It is not the way for Xun Jubo to destroy righteousness to save life?" When the bandits arrived, they said to Jubo, "The army is here, and the whole county is empty. Who are you, a man, and how dare you stay alone?" Jubo said, "My friend is sick, and I cannot bear to leave him. I would rather die with my own body." The bandits said to each other, "We are unrighteous people, and we have entered a righteous country!" So they organized the army and returned, and the whole county was saved.
When Wang Anqi was the governor of Donghai County, an official recorded a criminal coming at night. The king asked, "Where are you from?" He replied, "I just returned from receiving books from my teacher. I didn't realize it was getting late." The king said, "I'm trying to whip Ning Yue to establish my reputation, but I'm afraid this is not the right way to govern." He ordered an official to send him home.
When consulting an elder, one must hold a stick and follow his lead. It is impolite to answer an elder's question without declining.
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