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. The superior and the inferior hang their veils. If the host bows, the guest will step back and bow. The host will receive the gift himself, and the guest will take it from his left. He will stand next to the guest and then receive it. The one who presents the sword should hold it with his left hand. The one who presents the spear should hold it with its tip in front and its blade in the back. The one who presents the spear should hold it with its tip in front.
Zhongni was at a banquet, and Zi Zhang, Zi Gong, and Yan were there to accompany him. They talked about etiquette. The Master said: 鈥淪top! I will tell you three about etiquette and let you go around with etiquette to cover everything.鈥 Zi Gong crossed the mat and replied: 鈥淢ay I ask how it goes? 鈥漈he Master said, 鈥淩espect without following the rules of propriety is called wildness; respect without following the rules of propriety is called servility; courage without following the rules of propriety is called rebellion.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淪erving others takes away kindness and benevolence.鈥 The Master said, 鈥淢aster, you are too much; and Shang is not as good as that. Zichan is like the mother of all people, who can feed them but cannot teach them.鈥 Zigong crossed the table and replied, 鈥淢ay I ask what you will do to achieve this middle point?鈥 The Master said, 鈥淩itual! Rituals are used to set the middle point.鈥
When Zilu's sister died, he could have removed his hairpin, but he didn't. Confucius asked, "Why didn't you remove it?" Zilu said, "I have few brothers and sisters, but I can't bear it." Confucius said, "The previous kings established the rituals, and people on the road can't bear it." Zilu heard about it and removed it.
Xie Gong once went west with Xie Wan and passed by Wu County. A Wan wanted to go with Wang Tianxu, but the Taifu said, "I'm afraid he won't have to repay you, so he's not interested!" Wan still insisted, but the Taifu refused to change his mind, so Wan went alone. After sitting for a while, the king came in and thanked him with a very pleased look, thinking that he was being treated well. After a long time, he came out with his hair dishevelled, and did not sit down. He still sat on the couch in the middle of the courtyard, drying his hair in the sun, with an arrogant look on his face, and no intention of responding to the conversation. After thanking him, he returned. Before reaching the boat, he called out to the Grand Tutor. An said: "Achi will not do that!"
Chen Zhuangzi died and went to Lu. The people of Lu did not want to cry. Duke Mu summoned Xianzi and asked him about it. Xianzi said, "In ancient times, the officials did not finish their work. Even if they wanted to cry, how could they cry? Today's officials are involved in the government of China. Even if they want not to cry, how can they not cry? Moreover, I have heard that there are two ways to cry: one is to cry for love, and the other is to cry for fear." The Duke said, "Yes, then what should we do?" Xianzi said, "Please cry in the temples of different surnames." So he cried with the Xianshi. Zhongxian said to Zengzi: "The Xia Dynasty used Mingqi to show that the people were ignorant; the Yin people used sacrificial utensils to show that the people were knowledgeable; the Zhou people used both to show that the people were suspicious." Zengzi said: "Is it not so! Is it not so! Mingqi is a ghost instrument; sacrificial utensils are human instruments; why did the ancient people die for their own parents?" Gongshu Mu's half-brother died, and he asked Ziyou. Ziyou said: "Is it a great merit?" Di Yi's half-brother died, and he asked Zixia. Zixia said: "I have never heard of it before; the people of Lu wear Qisui for him." Di Yi wore Qisui. The Qisui of today is what Di Yi asked.
The way of a gentleman is like starting from near when he wants to go far, and starting from low when he wants to climb high. The Book of Songs says: "Wife and wife are in harmony, like playing the harp and the lyre. Brothers are in harmony, and they are happy and indulgent. Be good to your family, and enjoy your wife and money." Confucius said: "Parents are obedient!"
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