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Therefore, the emperor regulates the princes, making small betrothals every year and big betrothals every three years, and they are strict with each other. If the envoys make a mistake in the betrothal, the lord will not personally entertain them. This is to shame and encourage them. The princes are strict with each other, so they will not invade each other externally and bully each other internally. This is why the emperor nurtures the princes, so that the army is not used and the princes can be just.
The prefect of Yingchuan was named Chen Zhonggong. A guest asked Yuan Fang, "What do you think of the governor?" Yuan Fang said, "He is a wise ruler." "What do you think of your master?" He said, "He is a loyal minister and a filial son." The guest said, "The Book of Changes says, 'Two people of one mind can cut through metal; words of one mind are as fragrant as orchids.' How could a wise ruler punish a loyal minister and a filial son?" Yuan Fang said, "What you said is so absurd! So I won't answer you." The guest said, "You are just trying to be respectful so I can't answer you." Yuan Fang said, "In the past, Emperor Gaozong exiled the filial son Xiaoji, Yin Jifu exiled the filial son Boqi, and Dong Zhongshu exiled the filial son Fuqi. Only these three rulers were wise rulers, and only these three sons were loyal ministers and filial sons." The guest left in shame.
The Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by respecting oneself?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淲hen a gentleman speaks too much, the people will make excuses; when he acts too much, the people will make examples. If a gentleman does not speak too much and does not act too much, the people will respect him without being ordered. In this way, he can respect himself; if he can respect himself, he can complete his parents. 鈥漈he Duke said, 鈥淢ay I ask what is meant by completing his parents?鈥 Confucius replied, 鈥淎 gentleman is a name for people. The people call him a son of a gentleman. This is to make their parents become gentlemen, and this is to complete their parents鈥 name!鈥 Confucius then said, 鈥淚n ancient times, the most important thing in governing was to love people. If you cannot love people, you cannot have your body; if you cannot have your body, you cannot be at peace with your land; if you cannot be at peace with your land, you cannot be happy with heaven; if you cannot be happy with heaven, you cannot complete your body.鈥
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