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When Shan Gong met Ji and Ruan, they became close friends. Shan's wife, Han, noticed that the relationship between the Duke and the other two was different from usual, so she asked the Duke about it. The Duke said, 鈥淭he only two men I could be friends with in those days were these two!鈥 His wife said, 鈥淔u Ji鈥檚 wife also watched Hu and Zhao in person and wanted to spy on them. Is that okay?鈥 The next day, the two men came, and his wife advised the Duke to stay with them for the night and prepared some wine and meat. I climbed through the wall at night to look at it, and forgot to return until dawn. The Duke came in and asked, "What do you think of these two?" His wife said, "Your talent is far inferior to mine. We should just be friends because of our understanding." The Duke said, "They also always think I am better than them in understanding."
Xie Taifu said to Anbei: "Seeing him does not make people feel disgusted, but when he leaves the house, he no longer makes people miss him."
When Huan Xuanwu was the governor of Xuzhou, Xie Yi was the governor of Jinling. First, you should have a rough experience of being open-minded, and then you will find nothing unusual. When Huan returned to Jingzhou and was about to go west, he was in high spirits and Yi did not doubt him. Only thanks to Hu Zi and his wife Wang for understanding his meaning. Always said: "Huan Jingzhou has ulterior motives. He will definitely go west with Jinling!" Then he appointed Yi as Sima. After Yi came up, he still pushed forward his friendship with common people. Sitting in Wen, with his head bowed, whistling and chanting, there was nothing unusual about the day. Xuanwu always said, "I am the Sima of the outer region." Then he drank too much and neglected the morning and evening etiquette. When Huanshe entered the house, Yi immediately followed him. Later, when Yi was drunk, Wen went to the master and asked him to avoid him. The Lord said, "Without the mad Sima, how could I meet him?"
Confucians have the same aspirations and the same principles. They are happy to be together and never get tired of each other. They do not believe rumors when they have not seen each other for a long time. They act according to their principles and establish righteousness. They advance when they are together and retreat when they are different. This is their friendship.
The mourning period is lived in the hut, and the mourning period is not allowed to go to the hut for the whole mourning period. If the father is still alive, the mother is still alive, and the wife is still alive; if the mourning period is the period of Qisui, and the mourning period of Dagong Busui for nine months, they will not go to the hut for three months. Women do not live in the hut, and do not sleep in the thatched. After the mourning of parents, go home after the mourning; if the period is nine months, go home after the burial. In the case of public mourning, the great officials wait for the mourning, and the scholars cry and go home. When the parents of a senior official or scholar are buried, they should return home after the funeral. On the anniversary of the death of the deceased on the first month of the lunar month, they should return home to mourn in the clan. When the father or brothers are buried, they should return home after the mourning. A father is not inferior to a son, and an elder brother is not inferior to a younger brother.
When Wei Jie came to Xiadu from Yuzhang, people had heard of his name for a long time, and the crowds of people who came to see him were like a wall. Jie had a weak constitution before and his body could not bear the fatigue, so he fell ill and died. People at that time said, "Wei Jie was watched to death."
Luo You was an official in Jingzhou, and Huan Xuanwu was the king's cavalry and carriage assembly. The friend came in and sat for a long time, then left. Xuanwu said, "You wanted to consult me 鈥嬧媋bout something, why did you leave so quickly?" He replied, "My friend heard that mutton is delicious, but he has never had the chance to eat it in his life, so he came here without asking. There is nothing to consult you about. Now I am full, so there is no need for you to stay." He showed no shame at all.
Zengzi said: "When mourning, there is illness, eating meat and drinking wine, there must be the nourishment of plants and trees. It is called ginger and cinnamon."
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