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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Duke Ai asked Ru Bei to learn the funeral rites of scholars from Confucius, and the funeral rites of scholars were written there. Zigong watched the wax. Confucius asked, "Are you happy?" He replied, "All the people in the country are crazy, and I don't know how to be happy!" Confucius said, "A hundred days of wax and a day of radiance are not what you know. If you stretch without relaxing, civil and military officials cannot do it; if you relax without stretching, civil and military officials cannot do it. Tension and relaxation are the way of civil and military officials."
Emperor Yuan still loved drinking after crossing the river. Wang Maohong was an old acquaintance of the emperor and often shed tears to advise him against it. The emperor agreed and ordered wine to be poured. After one drunken session, the emperor stopped the practice.
Shi Chong and Wang Kai competed with each other in luxury and both used exquisite items to decorate their carriages and clothes. Emperor Wu was Kai's nephew and always supported Kai. He once gave Kai a coral tree, about two feet tall. The branches and twigs are luxuriant and luxuriant, rarely seen in the world. Kai shows respect. After Chong had examined it, he struck it with his iron ruyi and it broke into pieces. Kai felt sorry for it, but also thought that it was his treasure, so his voice and expression were very harsh. Chong said, "Don't be sad. I will return them to you now." He ordered his attendants to fetch all the coral trees. There were six or seven of them, three or four feet tall, with branches and trunks that were unparalleled and dazzling. There were many like Kaixu. Kai was at a loss.
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