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Xie Cheqi asked Xie Gong: "If a person is really aloof, why is he so important?" He replied: "It is because he does not see it! Seeing Zi Jing still makes people unable to stop."
When the emperor died, the first mourning ceremony was held for three days, the officials mourned for five days, the men and women in the country mourned for seven days, and the whole country mourned for three months. The people of Yu brought a hundred woods for sacrifices, and those who could make coffins were cut down; those who did not bring them were abolished and killed.
During the three-year mourning period, one should not speak or answer questions. Lu means in the white room, one should not sit with others. In the white room, one should not enter unless it is the right time to see the mother. The elderly should live in the white room and not in the white room. Lu means strict. Wife should be treated as uncles and aunts, aunts and sisters as brothers, and the eldest, middle and youngest as adults. The mourning period for relatives is exempted, and the mourning period for brothers is exempted. The mother and wife of the king should be treated as brothers. Those who show their color should not eat or drink. Apart from the mourning period, when walking on the road, one should be surprised when seeing someone, and surprised when hearing someone’s name. When visiting the deceased or asking about his illness, one’s color and expression must be different from others. Only after this can one observe the three-year mourning period. The rest should be done in a straightforward manner.
Confucians tell each other about good things when they hear them, show each other good things when they see them; they are ranked first and rank first, they die together in adversity; they treat each other for a long time, and they come to each other from afar. They are like this in their appointments and appointments.
The most important thing is virtue, and the next best thing is to repay kindness. Reciprocity. It is not polite to go without coming back; it is also not polite to come without going back. When people are polite, they are safe; when they are impolite, they are in danger. Therefore it is said: Etiquette must be learned. The principle of etiquette is to humble oneself and respect others. Even a porter or peddler must be respected, let alone the rich and powerful? If a person is rich and noble but knows how to be polite, he will not be arrogant or licentious; if a person is poor and humble but knows how to be polite, he will not be deterred.
Ruan Guanglu lived in Dongshan, where he had nothing to do and was always content. Someone asked Wang Youjun about this, and Wang Youjun said, "This man is not afraid of favor or disgrace recently. Even the ancients who were in obscurity are no better than him."
Huan Nanjun was summoned to be the prince's groom, and his boat was moored at Dizhu. After Wang Dafu finished, he was a little drunk and went to see Huan. Huan prepared wine, but the king could not drink it cold, so he kept saying to his attendants, "Tell them to warm the wine!" Huan then started to cry and sob, and the king wanted to leave. Huan hid his tears with his handkerchief and said to the king: "It is my family's taboo, what does it have to do with you?" The king sighed and said: "Lingbao came by himself."
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