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When you first meet a gentleman, you say, "I really want to be known by the general." You cannot get in touch with the master. The enemy says, "I really want to see you." If you rarely meet him, you say, "I have heard of you." If you meet him quickly, you say, "I have seen you every morning and evening." The blind say, "I have heard of you." If someone is in mourning, you say, "I will see you soon." A boy says, "I will listen to the affairs." If you are in mourning for a minister, you say, "I will listen to the servants of the Minister of Education." If the king is going to marry someone else, if the minister gives gold, jade, and other valuables to the king, he says, "Give money for horses to the officials"; the enemy says, "Give gifts to the attendants." If the minister gives a gift to the king, he says, "Give old clothes to the merchant"; the enemy says, "The 襚." If the relatives are brothers, they will not be promoted with the 襚. The minister serves the king.
When Duke Huan was young, he was as famous as the Duke of Yin, and they always had a competitive spirit. Huan asked Yin, "How do you compare to me?" Yin said, "I have been dealing with myself for a long time, so I would rather be myself."
During the time of Su Jun, Kong Qun was forced to surrender in Hengtang by Kuang Shu. Prime Minister Wang kept Shu in his care, and when everyone was sitting and joking, he asked Shu to persuade people to drink in order to ease the regret about Hengtang. The crowd replied, "The virtue is not Confucius's, and the misfortune is the same as that of Kuang people. Although the sun and the air are warm, and the eagle is transformed into a dove, even those who know it will still hate its eyes."
When Lady Xie was teaching her son, she asked the tutor, "How come I didn't see you teaching my son for the first time?" The tutor replied, "I always teach my son myself."
When Wang Wendu was the chief secretary of Duke Huan, Duke Huan asked for a daughter from the king for his son, and the king agreed to ask for a daughter from Lantian. After returning, Lantian missed Wendu very much and still held him on his lap even though he had grown up. Wendu then told Huan that he wanted his daughter's knee. Lantian was furious and pushed Wendu to his knees and said, "What a shame! Wendu is foolish again. Are you afraid of Huan Wen? How can you marry your daughter to him?" Wendu replied, "My family has found a marriage place first." Duke Huan said, "I know it. It's just that your Excellency doesn't want to." Later, Huan's daughter married Wendu's son.
Zeng Zi asked: "After the wedding ceremony, the money is paid and there is an auspicious day, if the girl's parents die, what should be done?" Confucius said: "The husband sends condolences. If the husband's parents die, the girl's family also sends condolences. Father's death is called father, mother's death is called mother. If parents are not alive, uncle's mother is called. After the husband is buried, the husband's uncle tells the girl: 'So-and-so's son has lost his parents, and cannot be a brother, so-and-so tells the girl.' The girl agrees, but dares not marry. This is rite. The husband is exempted from mourning. The girl's parents send people to invite him, but the husband refuses to accept him, and then he marries her. This is rite. If the girl's parents die, the husband also does the same. "
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