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Zixia lost his son and lost his sight. Zengzi expressed his condolences and said, "I have heard that when a friend loses his eyesight, he should cry for him." Zengzi cried, and Zixia also cried, saying, "Oh, God! I am innocent." Zengzi said angrily, "Shang, how can you be innocent? I served the Master with you between the Zhu and Si Rivers, and retired to live on the Xihe River until I was old. The people of the Xihe River suspected you of the Master, which was your first sin; you lost your parents, and the people did not know about it, which was your second sin; you lost your son and your eyesight, which was your third sin. And you said you were innocent!" Zixia threw his staff and bowed, saying, "I was wrong! I was wrong! I have been living alone for a long time."
After Confucius was buried in Fang, he said: "I have heard that in ancient times, there were tombs but no graves; now there are mounds, and people from all directions can be recognized." So he sealed it and made it four feet high.
Wang Junfu once blamed a woman for not wearing the remaining robes, so she stayed in her room with her chopsticks closed and did not allow anyone to go out. As a result, he was hungry for days and was lost, not knowing where to go. Later, due to the combination of fate, he was on the verge of death and was finally able to get out.
When Ruan Bubing lost his mother, Pei Linggong went to offer condolences. Ruan Fang was drunk, sat on the bed with his hair loose, and did not cry. Pei arrived, sat on the ground, cried and mourned, and then left. Someone asked Pei, "In a condolence ceremony, the host cries and the guests perform the rituals. Since Ruan didn't cry, why did you cry?" Pei said, "Ruan is an outsider, so he doesn't respect rituals. We are ordinary people, so we take rituals as our own." People at that time sighed that he had achieved the best of both worlds.
When Jianwen was the Prince of Xiang, he and Xie Gong went to visit Huan Xuanwu. Wang Xun was inside first, and Huan said to the king: "You have wanted to see the Prince of Xiang, you can stay in the tent." After the two guests left, Huan said to the king: "What do you think?" The king said: "The Prince of Xiang is the assistant, and he is naturally as dignified as a god. You are also the hope of all the people. Otherwise, why would the Minister of Pushe die?"
It is said that to govern a country, you must first manage your family. There is no one who cannot teach his family but can teach others. Therefore, a gentleman does not leave home but teaches the country. Filial piety is the way to serve the king; respect for elders is the way to serve the elders; kindness is the way to lead the people. "Kang Gao" said: "It is like protecting a baby. "If you seek it with a sincere heart, even if you don't get it, you won't be far away. There has never been anyone who learned to raise a child before getting married. If one family is benevolent, the whole country will be benevolent; if one family is courteous, the whole country will be courteous; if one person is greedy and violent, the whole country will be in chaos. The mechanism is like this. This is what is meant by one word ruining things, and one person establishing a country. Yao and Shun led the world with benevolence, and the people followed them. Jie and Zhou led the world with violence, and the people followed them. What they ordered was contrary to what the people liked, and the people did not follow them. Therefore, a gentleman should have it in himself before seeking it in others, and not have it in himself before criticizing others. There has never been anyone who can persuade others with what he does not forgive. Therefore, governing a country starts with managing his family. The Book of Songs says, "The peach tree is young and tender, and its leaves are dense. The daughter is married, and she is a good wife." Only when she is a good wife can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Be a good brother and a good younger brother." Only when she is a good brother and a good younger brother can she teach the people of the country. The Book of Songs says, "Its etiquette is not wrong, and it is right for the four countries. ” He who is a father, son, and brother is a model, and then the people can follow it. This is what is meant by governing a country in order to regulate the family.
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