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As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Wang Ziyou once stayed temporarily in someone else's empty house and asked him to plant bamboo. Someone asked, "Why do you bother to stay here for a while?" Wang Xiao chanted for a long time, pointed to the bamboo and said, "How can I live without you for even a day?"
Someone asked Wang Yifu, "What do you think of Shan Juyuan's moral principles? Who is he?" Wang said, "He was unwilling to talk at first, but he did not read Laozi and Zhuangzi, but when I heard their poems, I often agreed with their ideas."
The wise man treats others with familiarity and respect, and fears and loves them. Love something and you will know its evil; hate something and you will know its good. Accumulate and be able to disperse, be at peace and be able to move. When faced with wealth, do not be careless in taking it; when faced with danger, do not be careless in avoiding it. Don't seek to win, don't seek to get more points. When in doubt, do not question; be honest and do not boast.
Etiquette begins with the coming of age, is based on the wedding, is more important than funerals and sacrifices, is more respected than the morning engagement, and is harmonious with the archery field - this is the general outline of etiquette.
Yu Liang'er was killed by Su Junnan. Zhuge Daoming's daughter was Yu Er's wife. After she became a widow, she was about to remarry and wrote a letter to Liang about it. Liang replied, "The virtuous girl is still young, so it is appropriate. She is grateful for her lost son, as if he were still alive."
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