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An old friend of Confucius was Yuanrang. When his mother died, Confucius helped her wash the coffin. Yuanrang climbed a tree and said, "It has been a long time since I have trusted music." The song went, "The spotted head of a raccoon, holding the curled hand of a woman." Confucius passed by as someone who did not hear it. The follower said, "Can't you stop?" Confucius said, "I have heard that relatives should not lose their relatives, and the old ones should not lose their old ones."
In the court, talk about etiquette, and answer with etiquette when asked about etiquette. At the grand feast, do not ask for divination, and do not be extravagant.
Xiaowu belongs to Wang Xun asking for a son-in-law, saying: "Wang Dun, Huan Wen, Lei Yu of the flow, neither can be recovered, and small as you wish, also good Yu family affairs, cool is not necessary. Just like the real long, Zi Jingbi, the best.
Yin Zhongkan, the son-in-law of Dongyang, was also present. Fu Ya is good at reasoning and righteousness, and is on par with Zhong Kan in understanding all things. Yin questioned this, and Yang said, “After you have repeated it four times, you should be able to see the same thing.” Yin laughed and said, “You can get everything, why do you have to see the same thing?” After four times, they finally saw the same thing. Yin Zi sighed and said, "I am no different from you." He sighed for a long time for being a newcomer.
When Ji Sun's mother died, Duke Ai went to offer condolences. Zengzi and Zigong went to offer condolences. The gatekeeper did not let them in because the king was present. Zengzi and Zigong went into the stable and dressed up. Zigong went in first, and the gatekeeper said, "The governor has already told us." Zengzi went in later, and the gatekeeper let him in. When they went inside, the nobles and officials all left their seats, and the Duke lowered his rank and bowed to them. The gentleman said, "If you use all your skills, you will go far." When Jiefu of Yangmen died, the city manager Zihan went in and cried. The Jin people who spied on Song reported back to the Duke of Jin, saying, "Jiefu of Yangmen died, and Zihan wept bitterly, and the people were pleased. It is unlikely that he should be attacked." Confucius heard about it and said, "How good is the spying on the country! The Book of Songs says, 'When the people are in mourning, they should be supported and clothed.' Although it is only a small country like Jin, who in the world can do it?"
A gentleman is one who is well-informed, strong in knowledge, and humble, and who is kind and not lazy. A gentleman does not exhaust people's favors or exhaust people's loyalty, but maintains friendship.
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