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Confucian scholars live in a difficult place, sit up and stand respectfully, speak first and be honest, and act uprightly. They do not compete for the benefits of danger and ease on the road, and do not compete for the harmony of yin and yang in winter and summer. They love death and wait for it, and nourish their bodies and do things. They are like this in their preparation.
Xie Taifu said to Anbei: "Seeing him does not make people feel disgusted, but when he leaves the house, he no longer makes people miss him."
When Yin Yun left for the west, Xi Chao wrote to Yuan Hu: "Zi Si seeks good friends, so please entrust your kindness to me, and do not seek them with Kaimei." Yuan was known as "Kaimei" in the world, so Zi Jing wrote in his poem: "Yuan was born with Kaimei."
The teacher's writing brush, zither and harp are in front of you. You sit down and move them, being careful not to cross them. Sit back when you have finished emptying your mind, and sit before you have finished eating. Sit down and be at peace, hold your face. If the elder is not up to standard, do not speak nonsense. Correct your appearance and listen respectfully. Do not suppress opinions and do not copy others. It must be the ancient times, called the former kings. Sitting in the presence of the teacher: the teacher asks me questions, and I answer them in the end. If you ask for work, you will get up. If you ask for advice, you will get up. When my father called me, I did not respond. When my teacher called me, I did not respond. So I just stood up. Sit in front of the one you respect most, and do not sit at any other table. I can't stand seeing the same. When the candles are lit, when the food is served, when the guests come, they stand up. The candle is not visible. Don't scold a dog in front of distinguished guests. Let food be eaten without spitting.
Wang Lantian is impatient. Once when he was eating an egg, he tried to poke it with chopsticks, but failed. He became very angry and threw the egg to the ground. The egg was still spinning on the ground, so he went down to the ground and tried to step on it with the teeth of his clogs, but still couldn't catch it. He became very angry, so he took it from the ground and put it in his mouth, bit it into pieces, and then spat it out. Wang Youjun heard this and laughed loudly, saying: "Even if Anqi had such a character, there would still be no one to criticize him, let alone Lantian?"
Using jade and jade scepters to betroth is to attach importance to etiquette; returning jade and jade scepters after the betrothal is the meaning of ignoring money and valuing etiquette. The princes are strict with each other to despise money and value etiquette, so the people will be polite. When the lord entertains guests, he will go in and out three times, feed the guests in the house, and the five kinds of meat will be displayed inside. Thirty carts of rice, thirty carts of grain, and hay and firewood are all displayed outside. Five pairs of birds are mounted every day, and all the animals have food and meat. One meal is twice a meal, and there are countless gifts at banquets and occasions, so the etiquette is heavy. Ancient people could not use money in this way, but those who used money so generously said that they were very polite. If you follow the rites, the ruler and his subjects will not bully each other, and the subjects will not invade each other. Therefore, the emperor made it, and the princes should follow it.
Zi Zhang was ill, so he summoned Shen Xiang and said to him: "A gentleman says 'end', a villain says 'death'; I am almost there today!" Zeng Zi said: "The first funeral is held, and the rest is held in the pavilion?" Zeng Zi said: "For small merits, there is no position, it is the etiquette of the alley. When Zi Si cried for his sister-in-law, it was a position, and women danced; when Shen Xiang cried for Si, it was the same."
Gu Yanxian loved the zither all his life, and when he died, his family members often placed the zither on the coffin. Zhang Jiying went to cry for him, unable to bear the grief, so he went straight to the bed, played the zither, and after playing a few songs, he said while playing the zither: "Does Gu Yanxian appreciate this?" He was in great grief again, so he left his filial son's hand without holding his.
Women who are not in mourning for three years should not go beyond their fiefdoms to offer condolences. If they are in mourning for three years, then the wife of the ruler will return home.
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