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The guest pays the host, the host pays the intermediary, the intermediary pays the other guests, the young and the old follow their seniority, and finally the one who washes and washes is there. I know that he can respect the elders and not leave them out.
As for a man, he sits like a corpse and stands like a monk. Etiquette should be in accordance with what is appropriate, and officials should follow customs. Rituals are used to determine closeness and distance, resolve suspicions, distinguish similarities and differences, and make clear right and wrong. Etiquette means not speaking ill of others and not refusing expenses. Etiquette means not exceeding the limit, not being invasive, and not being too intimate. Cultivating oneself and putting one's words into practice is called good deeds. Practicing, cultivating, and speaking the truth are the essence of etiquette. We hear about learning from others, not about learning from others. Etiquette is learned from those who come to learn, not from those who go to teach.
Xi Sikong was in the Northern Palace, and Huan Xuanwu disliked him for holding military power. Xi was always in the dark about the situation, so he sent a letter to Huan: "I want to help the royal family and repair the gardens and tombs." The crown prince Jiabin was on a journey. When he heard the letter on the road, he hurriedly took the letter, read it, and found it was torn into pieces, so he returned. He also wrote a letter, explaining that he was old and sick, and could not bear the idleness of others, so he wanted to ask for some vacant land to support himself. Xuanwu was overjoyed when he received the letter, and immediately ordered the transfer of the Duke to supervise five counties and be the prefect of Kuaiji.
After Huan Xuan usurped the throne, he was about to set up a direct office and asked his attendants, "Where should the Huben Zhonglang Office be located?" Someone answered, "There is no office." This was extremely against the emperor's will at the time. I asked, "How do you know there is none?" He answered, "Pan Yue wrote in his Autumn Poem, 'I am also the General of the Tiger Guards, and I am in charge of the Ministry of Cavalry.' Xuan Zi praised it.
The etiquette of drinking in the village: those who are sixty sit, and those who are fifty stand and wait to listen to government affairs, so as to show respect for the elders. Those who are sixty have three beans, those who are seventy have four beans, those who are eighty have five beans, and those who are ninety have six beans, so as to show the care for the elderly. When the people know how to respect the elders and care for the elderly, they can then enter filial piety and brotherhood. When the people enter filial piety and brotherhood, they respect the elders and care for the elderly, and then the teaching is established. After the teaching is established, the country can be at peace. What a gentleman calls filial piety is not to see it every day when you come home; to gather the people in the village to shoot, teach them the etiquette of drinking in the village, and then the behavior of filial piety and brotherhood will be established.
Chengren had a brother who died but did not wear mourning clothes. When he heard that Zigao would be the chief minister of Chengren, he wore mourning clothes. Chengren said, "Silkworms weave and crabs have ribs, fan weaves and cicadas have ribbons. When his brother died, Zigao wore mourning clothes."
After Wang Chen's death, the Western Town was still unsettled and all the nobles in the court had high hopes. At that time, Yin Zhongkan was under Fang Yue's tutelage. Although he held an important position, his status and reputation were low, and people did not approve of him. Jin Xiaowu wanted to promote his close associates, so he made Yin Jingzhou. The matter was settled, but the edict had not been issued. Wang Xun asked Yin, “Why hasn’t anyone dealt with Shaanxi yet?” Yin replied, “Someone has already done it.” Wang Li asked the ministers, and they all said “No.” The king thought that he must have the talent and the position, so he asked again, "Is it not me?" Yin said, "It seems not." That night the king ordered Yin to be employed. The king said to his confidants, "How can a eunuch be entrusted with such a task? Zhongkan's action will be the beginning of the country's demise."
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